Thursday, February 27, 2014

Should We Seek More C.E.O.'s For Central Church?

I was on one of my rare shopping trips to the Short Hills Mall, when I came upon my dear friends, Harry and Judi.  I see them socially from time to time, and they are members of my church.  Yes, they are members officially, but they attend church worship only on Christmas and Easter, so I call them "C.E.O.'s" ---- Christmas and Easter Only.

I have tried a few times to get them more engaged with the diverse activities at our church, but they politely decline, or tell me they already have too full a schedule.

How do we express with honesty and clarity what we hope others will receive if they really join our community of faith?  In theological terms, the answer might be "a relationship to God through Jesus Christ."  For most people this would not appeal because it is too abstract an answer.  And wouldn't that answer apply to joining any community of faith?  What do people need and want from our church?

Methodist Bishop Robert Schnase says people need to know the peace that runs deeper than an absence of conflict, the hope that sustains them even through the most painful periods of grief, the sense of belonging that blesses them and stretches them and lifts them out of their own preoccupations.

Furthermore, says Bishop Schnase, people need to learn how to offer and accept forgiveness, and how to serve and be served.  As a "school for love," the church becomes a group of people who learn from one another how to love.  People need to know that life is not having something to live on, but something to live for ---- that life comes not from taking for oneself, but by giving of oneself.  People need a sustaining sense of purpose.

Bishop Schnase summarizes, saying people need to know that .  .  . 
            ---- God loves them
            ---- They are of supreme value
            ---- Their life has significance
            ---- They are not alone when they face life's difficulties,
                              and do not need to solve every problem by themselves

But wait!   Sometimes the greatest strength of church worship and Bible classes and choirs, is also their greatest weakness.  Church members may love each other so much that their lives become very intertwined, and their interests interwoven, so that church groups become impenetrable to new people. Closeness closes out new people who feel like outsiders looking in, and often those on the inside don't even notice.  The church members feel content ---- their own needs are being met!  What they forget is their obligation to help newcomers grow into the Body of Christ.  Is this what is blocking the progress of my friends Harry and Judi?

People are searching for churches that make them feel welcome and loved, needed and accepted.  The work doesn't stop there.  When congregations invite someone to a feast, they can't spend all the time focused on getting the invitations right.  They have to consider what will be served.  What are they inviting them here for?
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These thoughts are brought to you by CPC's Adult Spiritual Development Team, hoping to encourage you to pursue some personal spiritual growth this winter at CPC.
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Friday, February 21, 2014

Bringing Different Worlds Together

More than 40 years ago, Central Presbyterian Church began a program called “The Elizabethport Tutorial Program.”  From early October until the end of March, each year we have met on Tuesday nights in the church auditorium, for an hour.

Who is there?  We bring 30 to 40 grade-schoolers  by bus from Elizabethport (a section of the City of Elizabeth, N.J.), and they meet with 50 or 60 tutors from high schools local to Summit.  Public high schools in Summit, Chatham, Springfield and New Providence are represented, but also local private schools like Oak Knoll, Kent Place, Morristown-Baird and Pingry.

Because the building of personal relationships between tutor and student is so important to us, each student is assigned a permanent tutor ---- the same tutor week after week.  Many students have two regular tutors, so that if one tutor is involved in sports or other activities, there always is continuity.

What do we do in our hour together?  Sometimes the students bring a homework assignment from their school, which the tutor and student work through together.  As the tutor gets to know his or her student, they will see individual areas of academic weakness.  One student does not like to read because he doesn’t do it very well.  Another student has trouble with math, so some number exercises are offered.  Importantly, this teaching and practice occurs through great amounts of talking.  If the student has read a story to the tutor, for example, the tutor will ask the student now to tell the story again in his or her own words.  Sometimes, the student or the tutor simply talk about things they have been doing in their daily lives.

Why do the students come to Tutorial each week, when they could instead be home watching TV or doing other things?  Each child would answer this question a little differently, but for most of them, like most kids, they are happy to be out with their friends on sort of an adventure.  As they begin to bond with their particular tutor, that is a draw.  A few parents may push their students to go to Tutorial, but most tell us they simply hear the kids saying they do not want to miss the Tuesday night Tutorial session.  It may be an exaggeration, but we have been told that some parents  have used Tutorial as a “stick,” saying to their child:
“If you do not behave, I will not let you go to Tutorial on Tuesday evening!”
How is it that we are blessed with so many dedicated tutors?  Each tutor undoubtedly will have his or her own particular reasons, but somewhere on their list is “the personal relationship I have with my student.”  They are there every Tuesday because they don’t want to disappoint their student.  This is not necessarily what one expects from the typically busy high-schooler.  But, over time the student-tutor relationship grows deeper, as they each learn more about each other, and fondness blossoms.  We have heard of high-school-age tutors who have satisfied any Community Service requirements their school may have imposed, but the tutor wants to come back for a second or even a third year of tutoring.  Some tutors have even described the rewards of their experience as one of our tutors, on their college applications.  Some Summit-area parents have encouraged all their kids to serve as tutors ---- we have often had brothers and sisters serving at the same time, or in successive years.

What’s the “bottom line?”  Why has this program lasted for more than 40 years?
When asked, any of the adult program supervisors are sure they have seen some special kinds of personal student/tutor growth occurring, over time.  They see the students and tutors learning things about themselves, through the personal relationships fostered by the Tutorial program.  For the tutors, it brings home to them how fortunate they are for what they have, and to be sure to use it wisely.  For the students, they will see opportunities for their own lives, by just listening to their tutors’ own stories, and hearing of the importance of life focus and hard work on their studies.

The Elizabethport Tutorial Program truly brings different world’s together:  High school youth and grade-schoolers;  suburban kids and youth from one of New Jersey’s largest urban centers.  We believe that all of us are benefiting.
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 These thoughts are brought to you by CPC's Adult Spiritual Development Team, hoping to encourage you to pursue some personal spiritual growth this winter at CPC.