It is interesting how the process of faith formation evolves
throughout a person's life. Gallop Poll data shows that for decades
adults have tended to be more serious about religion soon after they have
children. Before the first child is born, the parents may practice some
degree of faith in and commitment to Jesus ---- perhaps they attend worship
occasionally. But their Bible knowledge, regular weekday devotions and
awareness of Christian principles may have been sketchy.
When adults become parents, a change often occurs. Now
the focus is not particularly on their own faith, or lack of it ---- it
becomes their desire to be "good" parents who prepare their child
well in his or her search for meaning in life.
I have friends with a 4-year old boy who asked his parents
if they would please say grace before the family meals. The parents
normally did not do this. Apparently, however, their son had learned in
day care to bow his head and give thanks before meals, and he wanted Mom and
Dad to do the same. They now join him in saying grace because they want
to "support his search for meaning," they told me. "We
want him to make his own decision one day about what he will believe in.
We want him to ask questions. So, if he wants to pray, then we are going
to pray along with him."
Today, the home may be the primary setting where children
learn meaning as to their relationship with God and their place in the
universe. Public schools are forbidden by law to get into such subjects,
in the spirit of separation of church and state, as practiced in the United
States.
In many families, it is in the home and not at church where
children mainly acquire their religious awareness. In spite of
imaginative Sunday School teaching, there are schedule conflicts with sports
and other activities which may supplant regular attendance at church Sunday
School. At a time when shrinking percentages of Americans claim formal
religious affiliation, sociological research and religious organizations
suggest that responsibility for forming a child's faith identity is shifting
from church institutions to the parents at home.
Perhaps this is also true at Central Church. In
January, 2015, 43 youth were signed up for weekly Middle School Sunday
School. As of March 15, 25 had never attended class, and four had
attended only one class since the first Sunday in January. Only 8 had
attended 4 or more of the 8 classes taught so far in 2015.
No doubt there were good reasons for the many
absences. But for the absentees, either they were being educated at home
about the Bible and Jesus, or perhaps they were not being spiritually educated
at all. Of course, in those homes that do not place high value on such
spiritual education, their youth will have little to go on except what has come
from their parents. Would these kids make up any teaching gaps later in
life?
For families that embrace the challenge, parenting now
involves serving as a child's primary guide to spirituality, which can range
from bedtime prayers to volunteering together as a family on a mission project.
Meanwhile, church congregations increasingly need to build
up resources that coach families in the how-to's of spiritual mentoring
at home. This needs to be done in a way that does not expect Mom or Dad
to be Bible experts. Many churches already provide resources and encouragement
to parents; churches that have recognized the current shift in the learning
process.
Central provides Bible story materials, maps of the Holy Land
and other Bible-related materials for use at home, supporting efforts to bring Bible
knowledge to Central's kids. Just ask!
In addition to aiding parents in these ways, the pastors and
staff of the church are a friendly resource for parents. But, the
most important elements in the process of a child's spiritual development
probably are the parents themselves, and the participatory example they present
to their kids. This is really important, because increasingly it appears
that faith is acquired at home, or not at all.
There is one other important dimension here. The
emergence of community service requirements or church-sponsored mission
participation as a dominant value may, to some degree, devalue faith
itself. The development of a caring heart is important, but it may be
accompanied by the practice of a "religionless" Christianity.
Absent are the the symbols and God-related conversations that church-based
worship would have provided.
Aware of this growing void, many parents increasingly
recognize the value of providing explicitly religious activities at home ----
prayer, reading and discussion of Scripture, re-calling Bible stories for their
relevance to something that has just been witnessed by the family. In the
process, they are recovering some forgotten ways of honoring God.
Parents need to act on their own faith commitments in
concrete ways, and talk about that with their children. The
examples parents actually practice, and their explanation of why they
are doing it, teaches their children that a practiced faith becomes a way of
life.
Parents do not need to have all the answers. Parents
just need to set a conspicuous example of seeking and practicing their faith,
along side their children.
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These thoughts are brought to you by Central's Adult
Spiritual Development Team, hoping to encourage you to pursue some personal
spiritual growth this summer at Central Church.
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