I have a few questions about personal prayer. Is God listening?
Why should God care about me? If God already knows everything, what's
the value in prayer? Why do answers to prayers seem so inconsistent, even
capricious? Does a person with many praying friends stand a better chance of
physical healing than one who also has cancer but with only a few people praying
for her? Why does God sometimes seem so close and sometimes far away? Does
personal prayer change God, or change me?
Most people pray at moments of crisis ---- when a child is ill, or when
death approaches. But those who pray only at such moments usually experience
great difficulty figuring out what they are supposed to say or whom they are
addressing. Sometimes dying men and women try to bargain with God. They say,
"I'll live my life in a righteous way God, if you will have mercy." They
struggle with their preconceived notions of God. Sometimes they are afraid to
lay themselves out to God. But, prayer is no insurance policy against adversity.
Nevertheless, we pray for forgiveness, for strength, for contact with the
Father, for assurance that we are not alone.
Talking about God, which is what theologians do, is not the same as
learning to talk to God. There are many ways of talking to God. Prayers
learned in childhood or read from a book, are often used to break the
conversational "ice" with God. However, perhaps this is the best advice: the
most important aspect of personal prayer is to "shut up and listen."
It seems to me that what matters most is not the frequency of personal
prayer, but whether those who pray experience inner peace, a feeling of being
led by God, or finding other forms of "divine intimacy." I also wonder if those
who do, are more likely to be forgiving of others, and satisfied with their
lives?
Many Americans are raised without any habits of personal prayer, and cannot
conceive of a God who would listen if they did address Him in prayer. Not
really understanding personal prayer, perhaps they will intellectualize the idea
of prayer to such an extent that they "bleach-out" any emotional
significance.
Rabbi Harold Kushner, the author of the best-selling "When Bad
Things Happen to Good People," says he is tired of prayers that sound
like a list of grievances. "We've confused God with Santa Claus," Kushner
charges. "Every time you have to do something hard and you are not sure you are
up to it, that's cause for prayer." Nevertheless, petitioning God for favors
may be one of the oldest ---- and most human ---- forms of prayer.
In the Gospel of John, Jesus himself is said to promise his disciples that
"Whatsoever you ask of the Father in my name will be given to you." Most
Americans who pray believe that at least some of their prayers have been
answered, though not always in the ways in which petitioners have sought.
Clearly, there is a difference between turning to God for help and
expecting Him to meet our every want. Jesus' own prayer to the Father was "thy
will be done," meaning that God wants us to have whatever promotes our
participation in His life ---- our union both now and in eternity. Yet, it is
precisely this distinction that is lost when television evangelists regularly
claim miraculous healing through the power of on-air prayer. Indeed, there is
every reason to believe that prayer sent their way, checks enclosed, are posted
to the wrong address.
I have also been told, and my experience confirms it, that personal prayer
requires making time for God. Someone once said, "If you're not as close
to God as you used to be, its because you moved, not God."
Since no one has seen God, people who pray inevitably draw on their own
imagination and experiences. However, it would seem that this internal
representation of God changes throughout one's life cycle in response to other
significant people and events. For example, finding a loving spouse or holding
a newborn child, may alter an earlier, more distant representation of God.
So, what's the bottom line for those who want to draw closer to God through
personal prayer? Beware! The religious purpose of prayer ---- communing with
God ---- can be lost when people use it only for therapeutic side effects; that
is, if my conversation with God is merely a Santa Claus list of wants. The
challenge seems to be moving from trying to control God, to letting God direct
us.
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These thoughts are brought to you by CPC's Adult Spiritual Development
Team, hoping to encourage you to pursue some personal spiritual growth this
winter at CPC.
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