Long before I retired, I worked in an office in Manhattan. From
time to time after work some of us would stop off at a nearby pub for some
relaxed chat on our way home. After a year or two of these impromptu sessions,
one day we got to talking about God. Some of us would get quite specific about
how we were trying to approach God.
One member of this conversation was Peter, a late-thirties father of two
young kids, who worked in Sales for our firm. Peter told us he was his
own boss ---- that he did not believe there was a God who cares about
humankind, so he saw a need to be his own Savior.
Another member of our group was George. He was older than the rest of us
---- probably in his late fifties. He worked in the Accounting Dept. and liked
his daily life to be well-organized and low-risk. George said he looked to God
as his helper, teacher and through Jesus as the model for his daily life. As
some of us heard George say that he always tried to obey God's law (being really
righteous and really moral) we wondered if this was just so George could be his
own Savior and bargain better for his own salvation. We were
thinking that if George gave God things in the hope that they would earn
George blessings in heaven, then was he actually doing anything at all
for God? It would be for George's benefit only. Do you remember the Pharisees
of Jesus' time, who were so fixated on the letter of the law, but not the spirit
of the law?
George admitted that he obeyed God in order to get things from God. He
said that when circumstances in his life went wrong, he was angry at God or at
himself, since he believed that anyone who is "good" deserves a comfortable
life. When he is criticized, he continued, he is furious or devastated, because
it is critical that he think of himself as a "good person." George felt that
threats to that self-image must be destroyed at all costs. He said that his
prayer life consisted mainly of petition, and it would heat up only when he was
in "a time of need." George admitted that his main purpose in prayer was to
control his environment.
George said of himself, "I obey, therefore, I am accepted by God." He
agreed that his motivation was based on fear and insecurity, and that his
self-view would swing between two poles. "If and when I am living up to my
standards," he said, "I feel confident, but then I am prone to be proud and
unsympathetic to failing people." "If and when I am not living up to my
standards," he continued, "I feel humble but not confident ---- I feel like a
failure. My identity and self-worth are based mainly on how hard I work, or how
moral I am ---- and so I must look down on those I perceive as lazy or
immoral."
The viewpoints of Peter and George had left us puzzled. Both men were saying,
in effect, that they were avoiding God as Savior and Lord. Each
of them was trying to keep control of their lives by looking to something
besides God for salvation. Eventually, someone spoke up and said that
"religious legalism and irreligious relativism" are just different strategies
for "self-salvation."
A week later some of us happened to meet again at our nearby pub. Peter
and George were not there, but our friend Jack joined us. Someone recalled the
earlier comments of Peter and George the week before, which had been unsettling
for some of us. For Jack's benefit, we recounted the prior week's
discussion.
Jack listened with great interest, and he explained that he is a member of
Redeemer Presbyterian Church in Manhattan. The Senior Pastor of that church, a
man named Timothy Keller, had been preaching recently on this very subject ----
one's relationship with God.
Jack quoted Pastor Keller as saying, "My identity is not built on my record
or my performance, but on God's love for me in Christ. My prayer life consists
of generous stretches of praise and adoration. My main purpose is fellowship
with God. My self-view is not based on my moral achievement. In Christ, I am
simultaneously sinful and lost, yet accepted in Christ. I am so bad that he had
to die for me, and I am so loved that he was glad to die for me."
Jack stopped to take a breath, and then continued to paraphrase Pastor
Keller: "This leads me to deep humility and confidence at the same time. My
identity and self-view are centered on one who died for me. I am saved
by sheer grace, so I cannot look down on those who believe or practice something
different from me. Only by grace am I what I am." Unlike the view of George
("I obey, therefore. I am accepted"), Jack believed "I am accepted, therefore I
obey."
"Only an experience of grace," said Jack, "can change us so we do
not avoid Jesus Christ as Savior, but do good things for goodness's sake, for
God's sake. What is this grace? It is not fundamentally an invitation
to get more religious. No, though we often fail to obey the moral law, the
deeper problem is why we are trying to obey it. Even our efforts to obey
it may just have been a way of seeking to be our own Savior."
In Jack's opinion, our friend Peter's way to live does not involve any
attempt to repent. Then, too, George's way to live involves only repentance of
his sins. But, followers of the third way to live described by Pastor
Timothy Keller, repent both their sins and their
self-righteousness.
"So," concluded Jack, "we must change not so much the amount but the
object of our faith. We have to do more than just subscribe to a set of
doctrines about Christ. It is more than that ---- we must transfer our trust
from our own works and record, to Christ's work and record.
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These thoughts are brought to you by CPC's Adult Spiritual Development
Team, hoping to encourage you to pursue some personal growth this year at
CPC.
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