How much help should we give to needy strangers?
We may face this question many times a day. Suppose
you encounter a panhandler on the street. Are you reinforcing a dependency or
meeting an urgent need, if you hand him a $5 or #10 bill? Are you paying
for a hot meal or cheap rum? People who say there is an easy answer are
failing to listen either to their head or their heart.
I have a sweet little dog ---- a Boston Terrier, who weighs-in
at about 15 lbs. She cannot provide her own food. She must eat the
food I give her, or go hungry. Some days she does not have much appetite
for the standard meal I offer her. So, I am tempted to help her by
livening-up the bowl with some salmon or liver pellets which I keep as her
"occasional" treat. The other day it occurred to me that I have
lately been doing this almost every day. Is this enriched dog food now
becoming for her the new "normal"? Do I now need to find some
new "super" treat? In my little world, finding the correct
balance for helping seems to require some conscious thought and diligence.
We have a somewhat similar problem when trying to help needy
humans. Some of my friends have told me that homeless folks or "the
hungry" are just not taking good care of themselves, so their difficult
circumstances are of their own making. Unlike me feeding my dog
because she cannot manage it herself, those friends of mine say, "most of
these 'needy' folks are just gaming the system." But the question I
always need to ask myself is where is the truth? What will be the
consequences on the needy person, of my giving, or not giving?
But the questions get more difficult! What about needy
people who appear to be physically or emotionally unable to care for
themselves? And how do we know for sure that their ability for self-help
is limited?
How does one select out those for refusal who are
"gaming" the system? It is difficult if one's exposure to that
person is a brief encounter ---- such as with a panhandler on a street
corner. To seriously help the needy, one needs to develop at least a
brief relationship.
A good example is the practice at the Elizabethport
Presbyterian Center; which regularly offers free hearty food to about 600 people
a month. To qualify, the client applies by answering written questions
about family size, regular financial resources and special conditions like
special diets. Then a "participation card" will be issued if
the applicant is qualified. Periodically the Center interviews the client
to update that person's application. Importantly, the food pantry staff
and the clients also get to know each other as sort of an unofficial community.
The Center has found this process to be very effective in reaching the people
who really need help, and thus preventing others from "gaming"
the system.
These on-going relationships are important for screening,
but also they sometimes lead to new opportunities for needy people, both for
strengthening their own self-support efforts, and keeping the clients and their
families "in community" so they can help each other.
I love the well-known slogan that "it is better to
teach a man to fish, than simply give him a meal."
Our church experience encourages us to practice risk-taking
mission and service. We are encouraged to leave our comfort zone and go
to places of mission and service we would never go to on our own.
However, the adventure in going to such places is only the first step.
Thereafter, as we discern the right balances in our giving, the question is
always how to help people GROW, and then HOW MUCH HELP to give
them as they grow?
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These thoughts are brought to you by CPC's Adult
Spiritual Development Team, hoping to encourage you to pursue some personal
spiritual growth this summer at CPC.
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