Wednesday, April 17, 2019

WEEKLY COMMENTARY: Is It Possible To Give Strangers Too Much Help?


We may face this question several times a day.  Suppose you encounter a "pan-handler" on the street.  Are you reinforcing a dependency or meeting an urgent need, if you hand him a $5 or $10 bill?  Are you paying for a hot meal or cheap rum?  People who say there is an easy answer are failing to listen to either their head or their heart.

I  once had a sweet little dog ---- a Boston Terrier, who weighed in at about 15 lbs.  She could not provide her own food, of course.  She had to eat the food I gave her, or go hungry.  Some days she did not have much appetite for the standard meal I offered.  So I was tempted to help her by livening-up the bowl with some salmon or liver pellets, which I kept as her "occasional" treat.  Then one day it occurred to me that lately I had been doing this almost every day.  Had this enriched dog food now become for her the new "normal"?  Do I now need to find some new "super" treat?  In my little world, finding the correct balance for helping seems to require some diligence and thought.

We have a somewhat similar problem when trying to help needy humans.  Some of my friends have told me that homeless folks, or "the hungry," are just not taking good care of themselves, so their difficult circumstances are of their own making.  Unlike my feeding of my dog (because she cannot provide food for herself), these friends of mine say, "most of these 'needy' folks are just 'gaming' the system."  But the question I must always ask myself is where is the truth?  And can I be absolutely sure?  What will be the consequences for an apparently "needy" person, of my giving, or not giving?

But the questions get more difficult!  What about  needy people who appear to be physically or emotionally unable to care for themselves?  And how do we know for sure that their ability for self-help is limited?

How does one select out those for refusal who are "gaming" the system?  It is difficult if one's exposure to that person is a brief encounter ---- such as with a "panhandler" on a street corner.  To seriously help the needy, one needs to develop at least a brief relationship.

A good answer, I feel, is the practice at the Elizabethport Presbyterian Center, which regularly offers free, hardy food to as many as 4,000 people a month.  To qualify, the client applies by answering written questions about family size, whether annual income is below the Federal Government's poverty measure and personal conditions like special personal diet requirements.  With such information showing the applicant's eligibility, a "participation card" will be issued.  Periodically thereafter, the Center re-interviews the client to update the person's application data.  Importantly, the Food Pantry staff and the clients also get to know each other as sort of an unofficial community.  The Center has found this process to be very effective in reaching the people who really need help, and thus preventing others from "gaming" the system.

These on-going relationships are important for screening, but also they sometimes lead to new opportunities for needy people, both for strengthening their own self-support efforts, and keeping the clients and their families "in community" so they can help each other.

I love the well-known slogan that "it is better to teach a man to fish, than to simply give him the fish for his meal."

Our church experience encourages us to practice risk-taking mission and service.  We are encouraged to leave our comfort zone and go to places for mission and service that we would never have gone to on our own.  However, the adventure in going to such places is only the first step.  Thereafter, as we discern the correct balance in our giving, the question is always how to help people grow in self-sufficiency.  Then, how much support to give each such person in order to develop, if possible, the desire for greater self-sufficiency?
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These thoughts are brought to you by CPC's Adult Spiritual Development Team, hoping to encourage you to pursue some personal spiritual growth this Spring at CPC.
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