Tuesday, October 24, 2017

WEEKLY COMMENTARY: Which Comes First ---- Our Love For God, or God's Love of Us?



The Christian Church is one of the few organizations in the world that requires a public acknowledgement of sin as a condition of membership.  In one sense, the church has fewer hypocrites than any other institution because by definition the church looks for sinners and is a haven for them.

If the church claimed to be an organization of perfect people, then her claim would be hypocrisy.  But no such claim is made by the church.  There is no slander in the charge that the church is full of sinners.  Such a statement actually gives a compliment to the church for fulfilling her divinely appointed task.

The benefits of Christianity are often said to be in simply "obeying the rules," thereby making us think we are morally correct people ---- ones who obey the Ten Commandments and Scripture and are very kind to other people. Then God will love us.  Actually, many religions operate on this simple principle:  If I live as I ought, only then  will I be accepted and loved by God.  Therefore, the initiative is with us!

"Sin" is an attitude in which we focus on ourselves as supreme, and thus replace God.  The  real God and his law become secondary in our lives.  Probably we are not consistently sinful all the time, but we know that from time to time we all place our pride and well-being first, even if others may sacrifice because of us.  Are any of us not sinners some of the time?

That view suggests we can earn God's favor and acceptance by our choice of behavior, difficult as that may seem to be at times.

But, Christianity actually has a completely different operating principle.  We are already accepted and loved by God.  This is a gift to us before we even had a chance to think about it.  We call it "God's grace."  This gift was demonstrated by what Jesus did for us on the Cross.  When Jesus was crucified, we believe God was giving His own son (Jesus) to redeem the sinfulness of mankind, 

Christians are people who understand they will often fail to live as they should.  Therefore, that they need forgiveness in the form of God's freely-given grace.  The prerequisite to becoming a Christian is admitting that we have this problem, and that we need God's help.  So, continual repentance in the sense of humility before God, and thankfulness expressed for the many blessings He continues to give to us, is the true mark of a Christian.

The difference between a Pharisee of the New Testament and a follower of Jesus Christ, is not that the Pharisee and the Christian are not both trying to obey God, they actually are.  However, the Pharisee is doing it only self-righteously, and so he feels superior to other people ---- there is no humility there.

Jesus criticized people who do "religious" things just to feel superior to others.  Jesus understood that the chief danger from this kind of religious moralism in which a person or a community feels they have earned God's favor, is that it could lead them to feeling that they deserve special deference and respect from all other folks ---- it produces an unfortunate and unwarranted ego trip.

Jesus himself sacrificed his life so that his followers could be reconciled to God, making their pride and self-interest secondary.  Thus, Christians follow someone (Jesus) who sacrificed everything (all of his pride and self-interest) to redeem and renew the world.   At the heart of the Christian faith is a man who died a victim of injustice, but who called for the forgiveness of his enemies.  Jesus is the example we sinners are trying to follow in seeking God and thanking him for the blessings of His love.

In giving us Jesus, God showed us a humble path out of our sinfulness ---- a path that would bring joy to God.
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These thoughts are brought to you by CPC's Adult Spiritual Development Team, hoping to encourage you to pursue some personal spiritual growth this Fall at CPC.
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Wednesday, October 18, 2017

WEEKLY COMMENTARY: Sometimes It Is Hard To Forgive When We Have Been Deeply Hurt



Last Spring, my niece Caroline had finished her Freshman year at college.  She had worked hard and earned good grades.  She made some new friends from other parts of the country.  She told me that as she looks back on her high school years, she can see that she is more self-confident and more socially skilled.

"But one thing still bothers me," she said, as we recently met for lunch.  "Someone in my dormitory put out on the internet some stories about me that were not true, and they were very embarrassing.  Before I realized it, everyone had heard these false stories."

"I persuaded several friends to put out messages of rebuttal, but not everyone on campus believed the rebuttals.  It was very hurtful.  It caused  me much pain and social isolation.  I became quite bitter and thought about revenge."

"Then I discovered who was the author of these falsehoods," Caroline said.

Some of Caroline's friends had now encouraged her to confront the person.  Caroline says she is faced with a dilemma.  "Do I forgive the perpetrator, or seek revenge?"

As Caroline's "wise, old uncle," I thought I was being asked for advice.  So, here is what I told Caroline.

"Let's look at the two sides of your dilemma," I suggested.  What message does that word FORGIVE convey?  I think Webster's tells us it means ceasing to feel resentment against an offender."

"But, there is a lot to be said for not forgiving people who have done us wrong.  Why should people who have upset our lives, leaving us bleeding in their wake, expect us to forgive everything and act as if nothing went wrong?  We are not talking about the petty slights that we all inevitably suffer.  We are talking about forgiving people who have hurt us deeply and unfairly.  If forgiving leaves the victim exposed and encourages the wrongdoer to hurt again, why forgive?"

"But, if you hurt me and I retaliate in kind, I may think I have given you only what you deserve, no more.  But you will feel it as a hurt that is too great to accept.  Your passions for fairness will force you to retaliate against me, harder this time.  Then it will be my turn.  And will it ever stop?  This is how family feuds progress, and go on and on until everyone is dead ---- or gets too old and too tired to fight."

Now, let's look at forgiveness.  It is not simply the alternative to revenge just because forgiveness is soft and gentle.  It is the best alternative because it is the only creative route to less unfairness.  Hard as forgiveness seems at the time, forgiveness has creative power to move us from a past moment of pain, block us from an endless chain of pain-giving reactions, and to create a new situation in which both the wrongdoer and the wronged can begin in a new way.  There is no guarantee, but forgiving is the only door open to new possibilities."

So, how do we bring ourselves to forgive?  Forgiveness means accepting others ---- and ourselves ---- as human and not perfect.  Forgiveness means resisting an emotional, defensive response when we are hurt.  Of not allowing their act of disrespect to diminish our own sense of self-worth.  Forgiveness means taking the risk of exposing our emotions to pain, and holding to a hope that disappointments and hurt do not have to be the last word."  

I continued, "Forgiveness is a process ---- a journey, which makes it even more difficult to accomplish.  As much as we might like forgiveness to be a 'forgive and forget' moment, lives do not work that way.  Old hurts are wrapped up in our emotions, and have a way of re-surfacing.  So, we may think later that we need to examine a new facet of the wound we had hoped had healed.  Basically, forgiveness is a commitment to face life with a posture that takes risks rather than protecting.  Meanwhile, we struggle with the possibility that protection may actually be the wise choice in some situations."

"Finally," I said, "forgiveness is not passivity.  It is an active response to brokenness.  While refusing to return evil for evil, forgiveness can also be an act of resistance, refusing to let evil continue.  Martin Luther King, Jr.'s tactic of non-violent resistance is an example of forgiveness that refuses to let evil continue.  By resisting segregation, civil rights workers were saying "no" to racism, but by being non-violent they were inviting the enemy to join the community.  Forgiveness loves the sinner, while saying clearly that the sin is unacceptable."

About then the waiter brought our check, and Caroline remembered she had a babysitting assignment.  "If I'm late, I am not sure they will forgive me," Caroline said with a chuckle.
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These thoughts are brought to you by the Adult Spiritual Education Team at CPC, hoping to encourage your personal spiritual growth this Fall.
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Tuesday, October 10, 2017

WEEKLY COMMENTARY: Why Is The E'port Tutorial Program Special?



[ On Tuesday, October 3, the weekly E'port Tutorial Program resumed for another academic year.  Present were 43 youth, ages 8 to 14 years, bused to Summit from Elizabeth.  They were joined by over 80 tutors from Summit High School and surrounding towns.  So, why bring 120 youngsters together weekly in the CPC auditorium?

Yes, we hope to improve some student academic skills, but we have a more important objective.  Hear what a former high school tutor, Sarah Coyle, saw evolving on these Tuesday evenings when she was an active tutor.  Below, Sarah shares her experience as an E'port tutor.]
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It was 7:00 o'clock on a Tuesday evening several years ago, and I had just joined the Elizabethport Tutorial Program at Central Presbyterian Church.  I had been accepted as a tutor, along with about 60 other local high school students.

Suddenly, there was a flurry of activity and noise ---- a big yellow school bus from Elizabethport had arrived carrying about 40 expectant grade school students from the inner-city of Elizabeth, New Jersey.

I sat alone at a table in the church auditorium, waiting for the girl I had never met.  Spread out on the table in front of me were some materials I thought might interest my new student.  Shortly, one of the program's adult supervisors came to my table with a young girl student.  Her name was Aneesha.  She was twelve years old and reluctantly approached the table, eyeing me with distrust and suspicion.

"Welcome!" I said in a friendly manner, trying to hide my nervousness. "My name is Sarah."  Then I introduced myself, describing my high school, my family and some of my extra-curricular activities.  Aneesha sat indifferently and disinterested, staring at the tiled floor.  I questioned her, but that did not evoke responses.

I asked Aneesha if she liked to read, but Aneesha looked at me like I was some kind of nerd.  I had brought a simply-written paragraph to test her reading level. so I asked her to read it to me.  In a monotone, barely an audible whisper, she rattled off the various random words on the page that she recognized, slurring them together as if she was reading them in consecutive sentences.  My palms began to sweat, and my heart began to pound.  Do I dare correct her?  Maybe I should never have signed up for this!

Then Aneesha asked if she could color some pictures.  Relieved, I found a connect-the-dots picture and a few markers and let her get to work.  After what seemed like hours, the bus driver called for the children to line up.  Grabbing her coat and bag, Aneesha got out of her chair and took a few steps to the door.  With a look back over her shoulder, she spoke to me: "You gonna be here next week?"

"NO!", my inner voice wanted to say.  What a disaster!  How can I ever come back!  No way!

Forcing a smile, I looked at her, "Of course!  I'll see you next week."

She turned and disappeared in the hoard of kids pushing and shoving their way out the door.  I let out a small cry of anguish, utterly exhausted.

That was my first session with Aneesha and the next few were not much better.  My difficulty in developing a positive rapport with my insolent student continued.  Aneesha rejected my friendly overtures and scoffed when I corrected her grammatical, mathematical, or reading mistakes.  Although, she never missed a Tuesday night session, Aneesha frequently refused to do any work at all.  For weeks, she would come to the table where I sat, and we would color.  Silently.  Or, she would go wandering around the room, visiting her friends, or taking unnecessary trips to the bathroom.  I found myself frequently searching for her, completely discouraged, and feeling that I was merely Aneesha's entertainment.  Having started on the program with the noblest intentions of "making a difference,"  I was disheartened as I became certain that Aneesha didn't even know my first name.

However, I refused to be beaten.  I had an idea.  I brought three very loved books off my own bookshelf.  They were Shel Silverstein's, The Giving TreeA Light in the Attic, and Where the Sidewalk Ends.

Tuesday night arrived and I was armed and ready.  Aneesha walked over and immediately asked to use the bathroom.  I consented, but insisted on accompanying her.  By the way she looked at me, I could tell she knew something was up,

When we returned to the table, I sat her down and explained that these were books my dad had read to,me when I was younger, that they were great, and that I was going to read them to her.  She agreed as long as she could pick which one.  She picked The Giving Tree, presumably because it was the shortest, so we would be done sooner.

I opened the book and began to read.  Aneesha initially mocked the story line, called the tree "stupid" for giving the little boy everything, and laughed at me for actually liking the book.  But, gradually, she began to search the simply drawn, progressive pictures, and enjoy watching the little boy grow older and older until he was a wrinkled old man.  I watched her face as I read.  I saw her defensive, sharp eyes open and laugh.

I explained that Where the Sidewalk Ends and A Light in the Attic, were collections of poems.  We discussed what poems were, and I asked her to read some.  She and I both laughed at the pictures.  Then she turned to my favorite, "The Twistable Turntable Man" and I insisted on reading it to her, just as my dad had read it to me.  Taking a deep breath, I delighted her in reading the quick-rhyming poem at record speed.  "Again!" she said, "Sarah read it again."

Shocked at hearing her say my name, I did as I was told.  And she laughed.  And then Aneesha tried to read it, and stumbled over the words so badly they began to sound like gibberish, and she laughed at herself.  She called over her friends and commanded me to read it to them.  We all laughed and she asked me to read it over and over again.  At the end of the night, Aneesha characteristically grabbed her coat and bag, and headed for the door.  Suddenly, however, she ran back, gave me a hug, and then disappeared.

I realized that although Aneesha was rowdy and difficult, she was not the demon I had thought her to be, but merely a hardened little girl who had led a tough life.  She had learned not to trust anyone.  I discovered that she did appreciate me, not for the math work we did, or for my grammatical corrections, but for being there every Tuesday night.  I suddenly realized that just by reaching out every week, I was "making a difference," and it was an incredible feeling.

I have decided that this type of service, sharing what I have learned or experienced with less fortunate individuals, while sometimes difficult and trying, is essentially important to living a healthy, fulfilled life.  This endeavor will become a major part of my life, no matter what profession I decide to pursue.

          And the best is yet to come. . .

The next week, Aneesha returned and leaned over to me and said, "You know that book?  The tree one?  They have it in the library at my school.

My heart soared.  On the subject of libraries, Aneesha had told me that they were for "nerds" and "wimps,"  and were "stupid."  Yet she had gone to the library and had taken the book home to read to her little brother.  I sat there, at our table, swimming in pride and accomplishment, and beaming at Aneesha.

She, however, remaining in character, gave me a look as if I were out of my mind, and asked to go to the bathroom.
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These words are brought to you by the CPC Adult Spiritual Education Team, hoping to encourage your spiritual growth this Fall.
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Tuesday, October 3, 2017

WEEKLY COMMENTARY: What Talents Did God Give Me, and Will I Use Them As Intended?



Prior to the Reformation, vocation or calling ("What shall I do in my earthly life?") was thought to be only for those who worked for the church as priests, monks or nuns.  An important belief of the reformers John Calvin and Martin Luther was that God calls every person.  Vocation was not just for priests and those who work for the church, and "vocation" was not the time spent earning a living.

John Calvin had the high expectation that baptized Christians would actively seek the welfare of others in the community of Geneva, Switzerland where he lived, through education, health care and governance.  For example, he expected Elders to inspect fireplaces for safety.  Imagine if pastors today asked for reports from Elders at each Session meeting on their activities for the community's welfare!  But Presbyterians actually are involved in many such activities ---- the PTA, City Council, literacy campaigns, clean air task forces, etc. ---- so there would be much to report.

Ministers and ordained leaders of the church are charged with encouraging church members to identify and respond to their vocational callings.  They also are "talent scouts", always on the lookout for gifts in others that can be nurtured and put to use.  A retiree is connected with Sunday school teaching.  A beautician is encouraged to offer her skills to a women's shelter.  A gifted young musician performs for nursing home residents.

While other church members may influence the call that one perceives, discernment of call often begins within ourselves, with a yearning to follow an inner voice.  So, we might start with the questions, "What gifts has God given me?  What is God calling me to do with them?"

At any age, assessing our own gifts is tricky.  We are not always the best judges of our own talents.  Sometimes we are drawn to a particular path in ignorance of other paths.  Or, out of personal egotistical aspirations, rather than in response to God's call.  There is the old story about the man who saw "PC" in a cloud formation and thought surely he was called to "Preach Christ."  After listening to many of his sermons, some church folks suggested that he was called to "Plant Corn."

We need help sorting out our inner stirrings, to find God's call.  Presbyterians understand that discernment of call is not something we do alone, but in the community of God's people.  The best decisions come out of group appreciations of one's gifts.  We may believe that we have leadership skills, for example.  But, do others see that?  If so, perhaps we are on the right path.

The great "call" stories of the Bible demonstrate that a true call from God is often resisted rather than welcomed.  Our Scriptural role models usually did not volunteer.  They did not want to be called, and they did not think they had the required qualities.  Out minding the sheep, Moses was drafted.  He gave many excuses, but God did not accept them.  Some of the most effective Bible leaders tell stories of being drafted for service, and trying to tell God that they were not the right candidates.  But, they did respond to God's call, and we remember them to this day.

In today's world, where individuals have many options for the use of their time, with many voices speaking and many career choices offered, the Christian understanding of a "calling" as self-sacrificing service to God and neighbor, is not popular.  Perhaps we ourselves are often like the Bible leaders God called, who initially were more sure they were just not the right candidates, because it would mean giving up something they were already doing comfortably.

Discerning one's  vocation for God is not just a quest for self-fulfillment, though many do experience deep satisfaction in their vocation.  A response to God's call often does require self-sacrifice and even discomfort.  Living out our vocation may involve going to places where we don;t want to go, and denial of ourselves, in order to aid someone else.

But, looking back at the things actually done for others can give us a very warm feeling ---- be a source of pleasure, delight and justify our life as a giver.

Perhaps the question is more like this:  "What am I supposed to do with what God has given to me?"  This includes how we earn our paycheck and how we spend it,  It includes how we spend our time outside of work.  It includes looking for ways to help others and then taking action ---- not just with the sick and infirm, but even with the youth in our families and neighborhoods who are seeking direction in their own lives. 

A wise man once said, "The best things in life are not things ---- they are the people to whom we relate and help." 

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These thoughts are brought to you by CPC's Adult Spiritual Development Team, hoping to encourage you to pursue some personal spiritual growth this Fall at CPC.
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