Wednesday, April 29, 2015

WEEKLY COMMENTARY: Is There More Than One Kind of Power Active In Our Prayer Requests?

I have always wanted to have a sailboat on a large lake.  But when a friend suggested I pray for it, I backed off.  "First, I should pray for health," I said.  "And not just my own, but my family's."

"Don't forget world peace," he added.  "And a cure for all diseases.  Be sure to name them all, with their appropriate Latin names, so God knows exactly what your instructions are, because we wouldn't want hangnails to be eliminated before cancer.  But yes, there's a lot to cover before you can ask for the sailboat,"  he agreed.

That kind of thinking, that reluctance to honestly ask God for what we really want, is arrogance posing as humility.  It seems humble to not ask God straight away for our own desires, and to put other larger matters first. But doing that implies we have power in all this.  As if by asking God to cure diabetes before asking for a raise, we might actually affect God's priorities.

Do we actually think that if no one asked for anything trivial, and everyone got focused on world peace, God would finally see that we had reached some quota and say, "Right, now that four billion and one people have asked for it, I will make it happen.  But, don't anyone ask for a sailboat right now, or I'll get distracted."  Sorry, but I just don't think our prayer requests have that kind of power.

So, why do we bother to pray?

Prayer is about connecting with God, about having a relationship with our divine creator.  I believe God desires that with us, and that God actually cares about our trivial wants, our big dreams, and our petty grievances.  This may strike you as humbling news, but I believe we can come to God with anything and God will work with it.  Thus, prayer is not all up to me.  With prayer, not everything depends upon what I do and say.

For example, when I have a selfish desire, prayer inevitably helps in that it exposes it for what it is. By honestly praying for what I really want, I am sometimes shamed into realizing I should not want that thing after all.

One time I actually prayed something like this:  "Lord, please don't let him get that job because if that pompous moron has any more success in life, it will drive me so crazy with jealousy I won't be able to sleep .  .  ."  After those words crossed my mind, I couldn't help but notice that these words were not from the person I wanted to be.

When we just think such things (not in prayer), one's mind allows the toxicity to bubble along, unchecked.  But when we lay a desire like that out in front of God, it gets exposed.  And once exposed in prayer, God can work on it with you, transforming your initial prayer into a prayer asking that the envy you feel will lose its sin-soaked hold on your heart.  That is a kind of prayer-power which you might not have thought of.

Honest prayer is full of surprises for us.  When I begin prayer, I think I am praying for one thing, but by the end of the prayer, I have amazed myself at what I have come up with.  I didn't know I was so worried about a family member, until her face dominates my mind during prayer time and shuts out the very thing I thought I had wanted to pray for.  That prompts me to make a phone call after my prayer concludes, which in turn leads to more adventures.

Sometimes, when I am praying for something I know is foolish, I come to the realization that there is a deeper need beneath it.  Praying for a lengthy winter vacation in Florida might really be a prayer to spend more time with family, to be somewhere away from the computer and the cell phone.  Before the "amen" in this prayer, God has revealed all kinds of ways I might connect with the people I love, and none of them require an airline ticket.  By the end, I may still want that Florida vacation, but in prayer, God has taken my desire and led me someplace new.

Sometimes we pray to God with so much specificity, it sounds like we are lecturing a sloppy subordinate at work about when and where to show up for a key event, complete with last names, details about the hospital room number, and the exact diagnosis.  However, I think what God really desires from us is an honest emotion, straight from the heart.  We should trust that God can and will take care of the details.

So, the power in prayer is not just from being able to present God with a "laundry list" of our perceived needs.  The power in prayer comes from regularly talking frankly with God.  It comes from developing an on-going relationship which invites God to work with whatever we take to Him. 
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These thoughts are brought to you by CPC's Adult Spiritual Development Team, hoping to encourage you to pursue some spiritual growth this spring at CPC.
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Wednesday, April 22, 2015

WEEKLY COMMENTARY: Is CPC Merely A Voluntary Religious Association Of Like-Minded Individuals?

When I was in High School, my parents encouraged me to participate in a local Presbyterian church.  This particular church was where my mother had grown up, and her parents were long-time, active members, as well.

My father had grown up in New York City, and had become a member of an Episcopal church there. But, upon marrying my mother and moving to Rochester, he willingly attended my mother's Presbyterian church.

In my sophomore year, the peaceful tempo of the Rochester church was upset within the congregation, soon after a new minister was installed.  Within a few months, he had begun revealing some of his ideas for the future direction of this tradition-bound church.  He seemed determined to transform us into an outward-looking church actively seeking social justice.

It started with grumbling and whispered talk in the church parking lot, after worship.  Before long, there was open discussion, and some Elders were protesting our new church direction at meetings of the Session.  Increasingly, the congregation was divided into two opposing sides.

Meanwhile, at home, I found that my parents were not in agreement on the "social justice" direction sought by the new pastor.  My mom and her parents liked things the way they were. My father was more in sympathy with the direction the new pastor wanted the church to take.  I would hear them debating the issue as they washed up the dishes after dinner.

My mother and many of her friends who had grown up in this church, were firmly set on emphasizing evangelism, not social justice.  They were active in Bible study and could quote Scripture for almost any occasion.  Mom insisted that this was how she kept on a straight path ----- by regularly reinforcing her Christian values through repeated reading and appreciation of Scripture.

My father, on the other hand, had come from a different style of religion, and from the more worldly environment of New York City.  He was very aware of the disparities in society, and wanted to do something about them.  He became a supporter of the new pastor's initiatives.

As time passed, each side in this "debate" became more and more convinced they had the right answer.  There was little interest in compromise, and soon the traditional/evangelical faction, began to leave the church.

I think about this now, years later, and wish I could go back and change a few things for them. That church situation was not unique.  Arguably more blood has been spilled and more hearts broken around church schisms than any other issue in the history of the Presbyterian Church.

The biblical understanding of the church as the body of Christ was as revolutionary 2000 years ago as it is today.  Imagine how some of the original disciples must have rolled their eyes when Jesus introduced Simon the Zealot and Levi the tax collector into their fellowship.  Zealots were Jewish resistance fighters sworn to overthrow the occupying Roman army.  Tax collectors were not the same as the county officials we know today; they were collaborators with the Roman imperial occupation who sold out their people for a cut of the tax revenues.

But notice this:  the disciples did not choose to affiliate with one another;  they were chosen by Jesus.  Only Christ, only the call of Christ, brought these people together as disciples.  Jesus' free claim on them was what they had in common.

Thus, Paul's message: Hands and feet don't join a body because they see the world the same way.  Ribs do not affiliate with ears because they share similar beliefs.  Organs of the body are formed and knitted together by the creative love of God.  What God hath joined together, let no one break apart.

When the Apostle Paul speaks of the church as the body of Christ, he reminds us of a far more basic reality than the narrow interests of affiliation groups and our endless debates about whose values and beliefs are better or more pious.  Our unity does not lie in our points of member agreement, but in Jesus Christ alone.  We are united, not because we have found a secret to consensus, but because Christ by the power of the Holy Spirit unites us in and through and to himself.

When the spirit of a church "schism" occurs, or the splitting into groups that share the same values, it fosters a kind of self-righteousness that runs counter to the spirit of Christ.

Our unity as a church is not on the basis of conditional contracts that hold only so long as we agree with one another, but on the basis of our covenant with God sealed in Christ.  Our church unity is the act of God, not of ourselves.

C. S. Lewis once observed that "the church is that body in which all members, however different, must share the common life, complimenting and helping one another precisely by their differences."

So, is CPC merely a voluntary religious association of like-minced individuals?  Would it not be more accurate to say that our church is not a movement or a mood or a direction, but the balance of many movements and moods.  Thus, the members of our church seek and accept the ultimate arbitration which strikes a balance between them.
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These thoughts are brought to you by CPC's Adult Spiritual Development Team, hoping to encourage you to pursue some personal spiritual growth this spring at CPC. 
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Tuesday, April 14, 2015

WEEKLY COMMENTARY: Caring For Aging Parents

When I was in my teens, the couple living next door made room for the wife's mother to come and live with them.  The wife's father had died, so they decided that "Mom" should come up from North Carolina and live with her kids.  They had room in their house, and this way they would not have to worry about how "Mom" was doing, living alone.

It was a big adjustment for "Mom," but she appreciated the effort to care for her.  She even grew to enjoy the cold winters up north.

But, we all know of families where caring for one or both aging parents is not as simple as this. When aging parents and their adult children live hundreds or thousands of miles apart, the care effort is challenging.  Every such family situation is different, of course, so there are no simple answers.  However, here are some suggestions that might make the job easier and more fun.

If you have raised children, you might think that taking care of children and taking care of parents are vastly different.  The first involves gradually introducing someone to a larger world.  The second, helping someone disengage from the world.  With children, we expect it will take a bit of time to care for them.  With parents, we are surprised by how much time it may take.

Also, the challenges seem almost reversed.  Parents of children are badgered not to be "helicopter" parents, hovering over their kids and not allowing them to make mistakes.  But children of aging parents are told to hover more ---- step up, provide support, offer distraction.  Hounded not to be "helicopter" parents to our kids, now we're challenged to be "tugboat children" to our parents, steering them through narrowing waters.

Perhaps the most basic thing we do both for our kids and our parents, is to keep them safe.  For example, it is important to consider interviewing other care givers who help the family, at the end of their shifts.  Many day-to-day responsibilities simply involve the repetitive tasks of getting the "patient" dressed, fed, medicated and bathed, but a daily brief review with the caregiver may catch a physical health problem while it can be easily managed.

One of the most important safety tasks is to fully understand the instructions of the aging parent's doctor, and then ensure that those instructions are carried out timely, accurately and fully.  Forgetful aging parents will forget to take their evening pills, or will eat foods that we know disagree with them.  However, there are low-key ways to monitor this.  For example, a pill box with compartments for each day (or morning, noon and night) show immediately if prescribed pills have indeed been taken, while the caregiver may have been otherwise occupied.

But sometimes protecting parents means not telling them everything.  The single hardest thing for the caregivers of Alzheimer patients to learn may be that they can't always be honest with the patient. When they tell you something you know to be false, your instinct is to correct them.  "Sorry, Mom, Dad has been dead for  20 years."  But caregivers learn that the only way to handle these moments probably is to conform to the patient's understanding of the world.  "Yes, Mom, Dad must have enjoyed that visit with the grand kids."

Another issue is that both children and older parents need help managing money.  Careful review of a parent's bills may reveal savings they overlooked because they perpetuated spending habits of earlier days, which are no longer necessary.  Of course, this can also lead to some awkward conversations, while we gently make the case that they no longer need to be purchasing certain items.  Someone suggested a "financial driver's license" for older Americans to prove their financial competence.  In effect saying, "You are allowed to drive your own decisions, Mom and Dad, but only if one of your kids is with you in the car."

Help in managing money often starts in the area of regularly paying the bills, making timely bank deposits of interest and dividend checks, and generally keeping complete and accurate checkbook records.  It is normal for aging parents to become forgetful.  Caregivers need to find a way to monitor these important, but routine tasks without offending the senior citizen involved----
a person who probably had successfully managed such things for decades.  Find ways to monitor bank balances without second-guessing every transaction, and do it regularly.  The penalties for financial "drift" can be painful.

"I'm bored."  When I was young, I was expected to have hobbies and sports, and thus be able to entertain myself.  Now, parents may ask us to entertain them.  As people age, generally their social circles shrink, and while this allows older people to focus more on those they really care about, it also increases the burden on their children.  Anyone who cares for parents is constantly sending along recommendations for entertainment, just as we do with kids.  "I think you would like this book."  "Should we play a game of cards?"  Happily, such activity suggestions may help.  Studies show that learning new skills, being creative, or even reminiscing, makes "patients" happier ---- and often makes their caregiver happier, too.

For some aging parents, various forms of art activities might become a passion that is discovered only later in life.  For seniors whose worlds are often shrinking, the arts may cause new worlds to open.  Just attempting something creative with an oil, acrylic or watercolor paintbrush, or simply drawing, can bring increased self-esteem and feelings of accomplishment.

Some seniors have dedicated many decades of their lives to earning a living, and never felt they could afford to explore non-remunerative creative outlets.  Now, they can be encouraged to embrace new and positive aspects of their personal identity, for fun ---- not worrying about profit.

Those families and friends who are caring for aging parents understand the upside-down emotions of taking care of someone who once took care of them.  We may think of life as moving in one direction, from dependence to independence.  We might also expect that our parent is moving in a single direction, too ---- eventually, from adulthood to childhood.  But, both of these simplistic notions are wrong.  The teaching and learning in life always moves in two directions at once, because all along a great amount of what parents learn is taught by their children, whether the children be youth or adults, and the children should continue to be learning from and be engaged with their aging parents.
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These thoughts are brought to you by CPC's Adult Spiritual Development Team, hoping to encourage you to pursue some personal spiritual growth this spring at CPC.
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Wednesday, April 1, 2015

WEEKLY COMMENTARY: Our God-Given "Free Will" Isn't Always "Free"

Many believe that God wanted people to be free to choose their behavior.  But, while being free to choose the "good," they are also free to choose evil behavior.  If God wanted true "children," rather than robots, there is always the risk that they might abuse their gift of free will, and choose evil behavior.

A great deal of the suffering in this world really should not be blamed on God.  It results from mean, cruel, inhuman choices people make.  For example, people-initiated acts of greed, social prejudice, racism or oppression, often lead to the evils of poverty and social marginalization, resulting in misery and premature deaths to others, that could have been avoided.  Even with natural disasters like landslides and floods, much of the suffering that results could be alleviated if people helped out more in the aftermath.

However, this does not explain why God does not block the harm to others caused by our bad choices.  We do not let a child run out in front of a speeding car, just to let him exercise his free will.  We would want to block major harm to that child!  Why doesn't God do that?  Is the need for free will a good enough reason for all the options of evil that seem to come with it?

Though we may not discern a reason why God might not have always intervened directly so as to block evil, it is hard to believe that God does not have a reason.  His son Jesus suffered infinitely with us and for us, on the Cross.  Perhaps this shows that God actually is not indifferent to suffering.  Through Jesus he became "personally" involved with suffering.  Therefore, He would understand that it is difficult for us to defeat evil.

As a Christian, I do not believe that I was born morally neutral ---- it seems that from the beginning, I was biased toward sinning.  That is, in the exercise of my free will, I was apt to chose what benefited me in some way, not a benefit for others. So, I am grateful that someone named Jesus made a very great sacrifice to redeem these mistakes.  While I do have some power of decision in my daily life, too often I seem to continue using my free will powers to please just myself, not to benefit others.

There are so many ways we can reject God in our daily lives, and then try to serve as our own god.  We may seek pleasure in boosting our ego, or in simple things like eating certain foods to excess. (Is it hard for you to refuse a chocolate cookie?)  For some folks, it is the discovery of certain chemicals which give them relief from the pain and anxieties of everyday life.  In effect, they are surrendering to an outside factor, but it is not God.  If they do this frequently, it becomes a habit, and then an addiction.  By definition, that person has lost the "free" from his free will.

On February 2, 2014, New York City police found the dead body of Philip Seymour Hoffman, a highly-regarded film and stage actor.  Apparently, he had struggled with heroin addiction for some time and he seemed to have died of a heroin-related overdose.   A syringe was found in his left arm.  Often, an addiction begins with over-use at home of prescription drugs.  Heroin is well-known to be highly addictive, but we have other addiction options.

Colorado and Washington State have legalized the public sale of marijuana, and other states may follow.  While marijuana may have legitimate medical uses as a pain killer, it is not hard to see how it's availability will draw-in new users, creating new addicts and compromising their free exercise of God-given free will. 

The smoking of tobacco products is less lethal than heron or "pot", but it kills 480,000 Americans a year, reports the New York Times.  Kathleen Sebelius, former Secretary of Health and Human Services, said that each day some 3,200 children under age 18 will try a cigarette and 700 will go on to become daily smokers.  That means, she said, that 5.6 million American children alive today will die premature deaths because of diseases linked to smoking.

Some good news reported by the New York Times ---- about 18% of American adults smoke, but that is down from 42% in 1965.  In New York City, which has used a combination of steep taxes on cigarettes and bans on smoking in public places, to discourage smokers, the decline is even greater, dropping to 14%.

Alcohol consumption is another addiction for some people.  What all addictions have in common is that the victims have surrendered control of their God-given judgment and capacity to choose freely.  Sometimes third-parties can bring an addiction victim back into self-control, but usually it is not easy and it often takes the continued support of other family members and friends ---- and even then, it is not a sure bet.

Perhaps the best course of action is alertness to potential addictions, and then avoiding them as if our lives depended on it ---- as they surely do!     It may start as a desire or a longing.  Temptation starts when we think about giving in to desire, or about fulfilling a legitimate desire in a wrong way or at the wrong time.  Temptation always starts in one's mind, not in the circumstances outside of us.  One finally acts on the thought we have been toying with in our mind.  What began as an idea gets born into behavior.  Now we give in, and the next time we are challenged to take this action it is more difficult to say "No."  This is addiction, and it is self-reinforcing.  At that moment we think we know what's best for us ---- we act as if we think we know more than God knows.

Addictions are the enemy of our God-given free will.
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These thoughts are brought to you by CPC's Adult Spiritual Development Team, hoping to encourage you to pursue some personal spiritual growth this spring at CPC.
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