Tuesday, December 18, 2018

WEEKLY COMMENTARY: Does Christianity Have A Place For Hardened Hearts?


In today's American society many of us have been bombarded this Fall with requests to make contributions to worthy causes.  If we honored each request ---- political candidate contributions, money for cancer research, our church, worthy not-for-profit organizations, and so forth, perhaps the total would be well beyond our means.  But, where do we draw the line?

Most of us have a concern for others ---- this is called EMPATHY.  But empathy doesn't mean saying "yes" to every request.  You and I cannot literally save the world, so we must select for support  the organizations that are important to us.  Perhaps we should let something from our own life experience determine which issues are closest to our hearts and most deserve our money.

We need to define "empathy" a bit more precisely.  Webster's says it is the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts and experience of another person, without that person's past or present feelings, thoughts and experience being fully communicated to us.

But, what about people who seem deficient, even devoid of empathy?  They are self-focused, narcissistic, always thinking about what's in it for them, and never respond to the needs of others.  People with an "empathy deficiency disorder", as some experts call it, seem to lack a moral compass.  They often seem unable to distinguish between right and wrong.

Jesus gave us a brilliant example of empathy   In Luke 10: 25 - 37, Jesus gives us the following parable:
               "A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he fell into
                the hands of robbers.  They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and
                went away, leaving him half dead."

                "A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw
                 the man, he passed by on the other side.  So too, a Levite, when he came
                 to the place and saw him, he passed by on the other side."

                "But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was, and when he 
                 saw him, took pity on him.  He went to him and bandaged his wounds,
                 pouring on oil and wine.  Then he put the man on his own donkey, took
                 him to an inn and took care of him.  The next day he took out two silver
                 coins and gave them to the innkeeper.  'Look after him,' he said 'and when
                 I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have."

                 Then Jesus asks: "Which of these three men do you think was a neighbor
                  to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?"  Jesus' reply to his own
                  question:  "The one who showed mercy."

Do you see that Jesus seems to be talking about empathy, when he asks the question "who was a neighbor"? 

Are you and I regularly capable of empathy?  Research seems to show that whether the potential to experience empathy and care appropriately for others is realized, or undermined, is largely molded by early life experiences, starting at birth and continuing throughout childhood.

In a recent New York Times article by Personal Health reporter Jane E. Brody, it is stated, "We're all born with a certain endowment, but it can be dramatically up-regulated or down-regulated depending on environmental factors, especially by examples set by a child's caregivers."  The article urges parents to be role models who show respect and caring for others:  "Billy scraped his knee.  Let's go get a Band-Aid for him,"  or  "Mrs. Jones just came home from the hospital.  Let's take her some soup."

Teachers and caregivers in child care and pre-K settings can foster empathy by acknowledging rather than dismissing a child's distress, or by bringing a toy or doll to comfort a child who is upset or injured.  Libraries and bookstores often have an assortment of stories in print and video that demonstrate the giving and receiving of empathy for children at different age levels.

Some of us may have vivid memories of our parents taking turkeys before Thanksgiving to the homes of people who had almost nothing.  Many of our kids tend to focus on what they don't have ---- delivering the turkeys exposes kids to people who have so much less, and helps give the child the gift of acting as a giver.  

With older children, parents might take them to help out in a soup kitchen or visit a nursing home.  It's never too late to guide a child toward greater appreciation of the feelings of others.

Equally important is for parents to demonstrate empathy with their children by acknowledging the child's concerns and feelings, and recognizing their need for security.  For example, when a child is fearful of a dog, instead of saying, "Don't be afraid, he won't bite you, say:---- 'Are you scared of the dog?  What scares you?' "  This validates the child's fears rather than negating them. 

At the same time, parents should not over react by being intolerant of a single second of unhappiness in their child's life, lest such misguided excessive parent empathy deprive the child of developing the grit, perseverance and resilience that is essential to a successful life.

Parents can talk to their children about other people's feelings.  If your child breaks another child's toy, instead of saying ---- "Why did you do that?  That was bad" ---- say: "Your friend is sad because you broke her toy.  What can we do to make up for that?"  Which opens the door for an apology.

Also helpful is to validate your child's difficult emotions instead of just being judgmental.  Suppose the child says "I hate Tommy."  Rather than simply saying it is wrong to hate, ask what makes your child feel that way.  Explore what's behind the feelings, the back story.

My Bible does not say that Jesus used the word "empathy."  But, in his parable, Jesus did not offer any praise for the hard-hearted performance of the priest or the Levite.  As I read it, it was the Samaritan who responded with empathy, that Jesus gave to us as a model for Christians to follow.
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These thoughts are brought to you by the CPC Adult Spiritual Development Team, hoping  tencourage you to pursue some personal spiritual growth this winter at CPC. 
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Tuesday, December 4, 2018

WEEKLY COMMENTARY: CPC's Members In Mission Team Has Been Busy This Year


As you know, Central Church operations are conducted by our pastors, the office and music staffs, and eleven "Teams" (committees), ultimately under the direction of our Board of Deacons and the Elders on the Session.

One of our Session Teams is dedicated to defining our purpose outside Central Presbyterian Church.  That is the Members in Mission Team.  It's members are continually asking "How can Central best project to the world the caring concern of Christ by providing encouragement to the poor, the needy, and those suffering physically and spiritually?"  Under this Team is a separate activity called the "Hands-On Mission Team" focused primarily on encouraging Central members' charitable engagement, as opposed to solely making financial grants. 

It might be interesting to take a look at how the Central Members in Mission Team has attempted to answer this challenge so far in 2018. 

Let's start by determining the Team's resources.  The Session gave the Team a 2018 budget of $68,604.  Importantly, the Team is also blessed with a long-standing endowment of more than $4 million.  However, the Team has disciplined itself to spend no more than a portion of the annual income from the Mission Endowment Fund.  For 2018, they have declared that limit to be $400,000.  This endowment arose from the bequest of Lena Willis, a CPC  member who passed away in 1994.  She gave Central a gift of $3 million to be used to support the Church's mission activities.  We were directed to pay particular attention to care for New Jersey's homeless. .

Therefore, the total financial resources of the Members in Mission Team are $68,604 plus $400,000, amounting to a grand total of $468,604 for 2018.

As of November 26, 2018, the Members in Mission Team had committed itself to spend 93.6% ($443,538) of it's $468,604 resources for 2018.  The final portion is being held back until December 31, for emergency situations which may arise.  If no emergencies arise by year-end, the final portion  will be granted to one or more worthy projects.

Let's look more closely at where the committed grant money will go in 2018:

     ---  19.7% ($93,303)  Youth development projects
     ---  18.0% ($85,000)  Providing temporary or permanent shelter for the homeless
     ---  16.0% ($75,000)  Pre-K education for disadvantaged children
     ---    9.6% ($45,631)  Food and simple clothing for the homeless
     ---    7.4% ($35,000)  PCUSA programs for national disaster relief
     ---    7.2% ($34,000)  Non-U.S. economic/social 3rd World Development
     ---    5.8% ($27,604)  Presbytery's annual Per Capita Assessment
     ---    5.2% ($25,000)  CPC Capital Campaign (also pledged $25,000 for each of the                                                     next 4 years.)
     ---    3.2% ($15,000)  Nadia (missionary in Greece)
     ---    1.5% ($  8,000)  Short-term personal financing to prevent homelessness
           =====   ======
          93.6%  ($443,538)

The Team has committed $130,631 to local homeless programs.  "Local" means programs based in Newark, Elizabeth, Irvington, Morristown, and even Summit.  However, a larger commitment has been made to programs for the development and education of needy youth.  So far, the Team is committing $168,303 to finance Pre-K education classes for disadvantaged kids, and youth programs such as the E'port Tutorial Program.

Hopefully, you may now be a bit curious for more details about the specific activities supported by our Members in Mission Team's grants.  We are out of space here, but in the next few weeks WEEKLY  COMMENTARY will identify specifically the beneficiaries of our Members in Mission Team's grants, and describe briefly how the grant funds will be used.
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These thoughts are brought to you by CPC's Adult Spiritual Development Team, hoping to encourage you to pursue some personal spiritual growth this Fall at CPC.
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Tuesday, November 27, 2018

WEEKLY COMMENTARY: Benefiting Others By Helping Them Identify Their Personal Gifts


From time to time, we all have a friend or two whose morale seems low.  Perhaps they are bored with their job, overwhelmed by medical or financial issues, or just overworked.  As a caring friend, you wonder if there is anything you can do to help.  And yet, we do not want to intrude too much on their privacy, or imply that we think they are not up to solving their own problems, by themselves.

There are a number of ways to engage our hurting friend in personal conversation, but one way I have often found fruitful is to gently ask, "What personal gifts do you think you have?"  The very nature of the question ---- "What gifts do you have?" ---- seems to affirm the person's dignity and hopefully encourages them to take a more positive attitude about their life.  This is not asking how do they spend their time, but rather to think about the choices they might be making in the use of their personal gifts.

I think of a "personal gift" as any talent or skill which one uses better, easier or more successfully than  most other people.  Therefore, employing one's personal gifts is often a source of pleasure, providing a warm sense of achievement.

Usually the friend will cite a gift or two, with a sense of pride.  What personal gifts has God given to you that can be used to improve your life?  Too often folks do not even focus on whether they have any "gifts".  So, they need to take inventory.  How can they be a better steward of their gifts and personal resources, and thus develop the God-given potential that they have had from the very start?

Surprisingly, a person's inward opinion of their gifts may be quite different from what they tell you about themselves.  Sometimes a bit of false modesty creeps in ---- they do not want to appear to be bragging!  At other times we'll hear a personal gift described that had totally eluded us in our relationship with this friend.  I remember that as a teenager I had some dreams based on gifts I "wished" myself into believing that I had, but didn't have.  Luckily I outgrew those false gift illusions.

So, what do you say to a friend who tells you, "Yes, I have several personal gifts I would like to develop, but my daily life is already committed ---- I have a demanding job, and a wife and kids, so I have no time just now to try new things."  Many of us can sympathize with this over-committed friend.  It may sound a little grand, but how about trying to enjoy the feast by taking just a few bites at a time, chewing thoroughly, and savoring the flavor?

I once had a friend who had a passion for soccer, but knew he was no longer young enough to continue playing.  He turned to coaching a YMCA youth team and was happy to discover that he not only had a gift for soccer, but also a gift for teaching youngsters the finer points of the game.  He simply adjusted how to use his gifts to fit his new circumstances.

That reminds me of another important point.  When you inventory your personal gifts, some of those gifts show up over and over again through the years.  However, be alert to new arrivals.  New experiences, new challenges and new relationships with other people, may bring some new items to our personal gift inventory.  Some people call this "growth" ---- you should treat it as a blessing, and put it to work.

Where does this take us?  First, we need to be really clear about the nature of our own gifts, and find ways and time to employ them.  Secondly, when we encounter someone who will focus mainly on his or her problems, not on their gifts, draw them into conversation about this unfamiliar aspect of their lives, their gifts.  If you are lucky, you will have some impact on their viewpoint ---- a negative viewpoint that has been blinding them to the positive capabilities, skills and resources they possess.  But we cannot "fix" anybody.  Ideally, they will come to see a person (themselves) who is full of possibilities given to them by God.

The beauty of this approach is that their "cure", their capacity for renewal, lies within themselves. You are simply the catalyst and encouragement, but that is indispensable help.  

However, remember, your role as encourager is not a one-shot assignment.  Keep giving positive reinforcement, praise, and appreciation to your friend, for having continued the hard work they have started.
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These thoughts are brought to you by CPC's Adult Spiritual Development Team, hoping to encourage you to pursue some personal spiritual growth this Fall at CPC.
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Monday, November 19, 2018

WEEKLY COMMENTARY: Is It Really Enough To Seriously Give Thanks Only Once A Year?


In 1621, the Pilgrims celebrated after their first harvest in the New World, and some Americans call this the "First Thanksgiving."  Wikipedia tells us that the first Thanksgiving feast was held at the Plymouth Plantation in Massachusetts, lasted three days, and was attended by 53 Pilgrims and 90 Native Americans.

It was already an established practice in Europe to hold feasts celebrating such blessings as a military victory, the end of a drought, or a successful harvest.  For some, it was probably seen as a religious event, for others it was perhaps a time to "let off steam and party."

One of the guests at the Pilgrim's feast was Squanto, a Patuxet Native American who resided with the Wampanoag Tribe.  He had taught the Pilgrims how to catch eel and grow corn, and served as an interpreter for them.  Squanto had learned English while being taken around Europe as a curiosity, and during travels in England.  In addition, the Wampanoag leader Massasoit donated food stores to the fledgling colony during the first winter when supplies from England were insufficient.

The Pilgrims held another Thanksgiving celebration on July 30, 1623, after a long and nearly catastrophic drought ended with a refreshing 14-day rain, and assured a large harvest.  This 1623 Thanksgiving was significant because the order to recognize the  event was from the Plymouth Colony's Governor William Bradford, a civil authority, and not from the church.  Therefore, this probably made it the first civil recognition of Thanksgiving in New England.

"In the years following," Wikipedia continues, "irregular Thanksgivings continued after favorable events, and days of fasting after unfavorable ones.  In the Plymouth tradition, a Thanksgiving Day was primarily a church observance, rather than a feast day.  But such Thanksgiving Days would be a civil occasion linked to the religious one, as in 1623.  Gradually, an annual Thanksgiving after the harvest developed widely in the 17th century.  But, this did not occur on any set day, or necessarily on the same day in the different colonies in America."

Then in the middle of the American Civil War, President Abraham Lincoln proclaimed a national Thanksgiving Day, to be celebrated on the final Thursday in November, 1863, "as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficial Father who dwelleth in the Heavens."  Since 1863, Thanksgiving has been observed annually throughout the United States, but today we use the fourth November Thursday.

Over the years, a number of traditions have grown up around Thanksgiving, that have no relationship to the event's early religious and civil intention.  For most Americans who celebrate with a Thanksgiving feast, a roasted turkey is the center of attraction on the dinner table.  Perhaps it was back in the era of President Harry Truman when the annual practice began for the President to "pardon" a live turkey, who would thus escape "capital punishment" and thereafter live out it's days on a nearby, peaceful farm.

In addition, many high school and college football teams will play their final games of the season on Thanksgiving Day or on the days immediately following.  This is facilitated by the common practice of employers to give workers as much as a four-day weekend.  Also, for many children, the big event of the weekend will be the annual Thanksgiving Day parade televised from New York City ---- but with much more emphasis on entertainment than on thankfulness for the year's bounty.

For many religiously-inclined Americans, the annual Thanksgiving celebration reminds us once again to thank God for the rich bounty so many of us find in our lives, whether material or spiritual.  But, many of us do say prayers of thanks throughout the year.  So, for such folks, perhaps the really unique gift of Thanksgiving is the strong sense of community with others which it fosters. 

The "community" around the Thanksgiving dinner table may be family, neighbors or just good friends ---- but, at this time of year we make a real effort to be there, even if we need to fly from a distant place.  Young and old gather.  The aroma and food delicacies create relaxed conversation and sweet recollections of people and times from the past.  In our very mobile and digitized America, has Thanksgiving Day reinvented itself again ---- morphing into an annual, not-to-be-missed day of community?

Perhaps not ---- think about the first Thanksgiving in 1621.  The Native American guests outnumbered the Pilgrims nearly two to one.  The Pilgrims were not just celebrating a good harvest and thanking God for this bounty ---- they were also recognizing their community with the Native Americans in their lives.

Today, we should be reminded that a God-given community is with us every day, not just one day each year.  We need to thank God regularly for the presence of these people in our lives.  After all, the Pilgrims were grateful for the blessing of being in community, from their very beginning in 1621.

Perhaps we each need a more frequent, personal Thanksgiving conversation with God ---- more than once a year!  Importantly, we need to thank God regularly for more than our material bounty, but also for the family, friends and neighbors with whom God enables us to live in community
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These thoughts are brought to you by CPC's Adult Spiritual Development Team, hoping to
encourage your pursuit of personal spiritual growth this Fall at CPC. 
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Wednesday, November 14, 2018

WEEKLY COMMENTARY: Prayer and Physical Healing


Recently, I had dinner in New York City with Tom, a former college classmate who had gone on to medical school and now is a successful surgeon in the Mid-West.  We talked about many things, but at one point I asked him point-blank if he believed that prayer promoted recovery from illness or physical injury?

Tom paused for a moment and then said. "Are you asking what is the role of God in all of this, and could our prayers bring God into action on behalf of the ill and injured?"

Tom noted that we often turn to prayer when illness or injury strike.  He claimed that some Christians expect that the suffering betrays a moral flaw in the affected person.  Perhaps the sufferer is being punished for some sin, or he lacks healing because of inadequate religious faith.  So, any prayers for this suffering individual should be seeking the forgiveness of God for the former's sins and absence from God.

"On the other hand," he continued, "some Christians believe that faith alone can heal any disease and that to look elsewhere for help ---- for example, to medical doctors ---- demonstrates a lack of trust in God."

"I do not buy either of these theories," Tom said.  He believed that in many cases of healing one can see only the overall effect of religion on health, rather than the specific impact of prayer.  Lifestyle choices often account for much of the benefit of prayer, he believed ---- regular church-goers seem to smoke less, drink less alcohol, engage in less promiscuous sex and drug use, and have a supportive community to rely on in coping with problems.

"Do you see any value in prayer?" I asked.

"Oh, yes, prayer can indeed help a person cope with life's stress, give a greater sense of well- being, stimulate hope and feed a readiness to forgive ---- all of which affect health in positive ways.  One's prayers should be focused on encouraging the needy person's sense of well-being, hope and readiness to forgive others."

"How we think and feel has a direct effect on bodily health because the mind regulates the body's natural healing systems.  To the contrary, fear, loneliness, hostility, worry, grief and helplessness are enemies of healthy recovery."

Tom continued, "It does not diminish my respect for God's power in the slightest to realize that God works primarily through the mind to summon up resources of healing in a person's body.  The Holy Spirit has a role in health.  A person experiences maximum good health when all three ---- body, mind and spirit, are aligned in a way that expresses the will of the Designer."

While Tom caught his breath, I offered an additional thought:  "Those who pray for the sick and suffering, perhaps should praise God for the remarkable agents of healing designed into the body, and then ask that God's special influence to cause the suffering person to use those resources to their fullest advantage.  I believe, as you say, that the prayers of fellow Christians can offer real, tangible help by setting into motion the intrinsic powers of healing, controlled by God, in the person.  This approach does not contradict natural laws.  Rather,,it fully employs the design features built into the human body."

It was getting late, but Tom had a final thought: "Some Christians accept the regularity and predictability of natural laws in other areas, but resist them when it comes to human health.  Each of us learns to adapt our hopes and wants, to the fact that natural laws do not change just because we desire change and sincerely pray for it.

God is not a magician who rearranges life to fit our wishes.  No prayer will reverse the aging process, banish death or eliminate the need for nourishment.  Or, you could say that God has set certain rules in motion and only within those rules does there exist potential for physical healing.

We did agree that perhaps God delights in delegating some of the mission of human healing to the control of human agents like us ---- so, healing is not left completely up to God.
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These thoughts are brought to you by CPC's Adult Spiritual Development Team, hoping to encourage your pursuit of personal spiritual growth this Fall at CPC. 
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