Thursday, July 21, 2016

WEEKLY COMMENTARY: Today, Where Do Our Kids Learn About Jesus?



It is interesting how the process of faith formation evolves throughout a person's life.  Gallop Poll data shows that for decades adults have tended to be more serious about religion soon after they have children.  Before the first child is born, the parents may practice some degree of faith in and commitment to Jesus ---- perhaps they attend worship occasionally.  But their Bible knowledge, regular weekday devotions and awareness of Christian principles may have been sketchy.

When adults become parents, a change often occurs.  Now the focus is not particularly on their own faith, or lack of it ---- it becomes their desire to be "good" parents who prepare their child well in his or her search for meaning in life.

I have friends with a 4-year old boy who asked his parents if they would please say grace before the family meals.  The parents normally did not do this.  Apparently, however, their son had learned in day care to bow his head and give thanks before meals, and he wanted Mom and Dad to do the same.  They now join him in saying grace because they want to "support his search for meaning," they told me.  "We want him to make his own decision one day about what he will believe in.  We want him to ask questions.  So, if he wants to pray, then we are going to pray along with him."

Today, the home may be the primary setting where children learn meaning as to their relationship with God and their place in the universe.  Public schools are forbidden by law to get into such subjects, in the spirit of separation of church and state, as practiced in the United States.

In many families, it is in the home and not at church where children mainly acquire their religious awareness.  In spite of imaginative Sunday School teaching, there are schedule conflicts with sports and other activities which may supplant regular attendance at church Sunday School.  At a time when shrinking percentages of Americans claim formal religious affiliation, sociological research and religious organizations suggest that responsibility for forming a child's faith identity is shifting from church institutions to the parents at home.

Perhaps this is also true at Central Church.  In January, 2015, 43 youth were signed up for weekly Middle School Sunday School.  As of March 15, 25 had never attended class, and four had attended only one class since the first Sunday in January.  Only 8 had attended 4 or more of the 8 classes taught so far in 2015.

No doubt there were good reasons for the many absences.  But for the absentees, either they were being educated at home about the Bible and Jesus, or perhaps they were not being spiritually educated at all.  Of course, in those homes that do not place high value on such spiritual education, their youth will have little to go on except what has come from their parents.  Would these kids make up any teaching gaps later in life?

For families that embrace the challenge, parenting now involves serving as a child's primary guide to spirituality, which can range from bedtime prayers to volunteering together as a family on a mission project.

Meanwhile, church congregations increasingly need to build up resources that coach families in the how-to's of spiritual  mentoring at home.  This needs to be done in a way that does not expect Mom or Dad to be Bible experts.  Many churches already provide resources and encouragement to parents; churches that have recognized the current shift in the learning process. 

Central provides Bible story materials, maps of the Holy Land and other Bible-related materials for use at home, supporting efforts to bring Bible knowledge to Central's kids.  Just ask!

In addition to aiding parents in these ways, the pastors and staff of the  church are a friendly resource for parents.  But, the most important elements in the process of a child's spiritual development probably are the parents themselves, and the participatory example they present to their kids.  This is really important, because increasingly it appears that faith is acquired at home, or not at all.

There is one other important dimension here.  The emergence of community service requirements or church-sponsored mission participation as a dominant value may, to some degree, devalue faith itself.  The development of a caring heart is important, but it may be accompanied by the practice of a "religionless" Christianity.  Absent are the the symbols and God-related conversations that church-based worship would have provided.  

Aware of this growing void, many parents increasingly recognize the value of providing explicitly religious activities at home ---- prayer, reading and discussion of Scripture, re-calling Bible stories for their relevance to something that has just been witnessed by the family.  In the process, they are recovering  some forgotten ways of honoring God.

Parents need to act on their own faith commitments in concrete ways, and talk about that with their children.  The examples parents actually practice, and their explanation of why they are doing it, teaches their children that a practiced faith becomes a way of life.

Parents do not need to have all the answers.  Parents just need to set a conspicuous example of seeking and practicing their faith, along side their children.
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These thoughts are brought to you by Central's Adult Spiritual Development Team, hoping to encourage you to pursue some personal spiritual growth this summer at Central Church.
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Wednesday, July 13, 2016

WEEKLY COMMENTARY: Why Do We Bother to Pray?



I have always wanted to have a sailboat on a large lake.  But when a friend suggested that I pray for it, I backed off.  "First, I should pray for health," I said.  "And not just my own, but my family's."

"Don't forget world peace," he added.  "And cures for all diseases.  But yes, there's a lot to cover before you can ask for the sailboat," he agreed.

That kind of thinking, that reluctance to directly ask God for what we really want, is arrogance posing as humility.  It seems humble to not ask God straight away for our own desires, and to put other larger matters first.  But doing that implies we have power in all this.  As if by asking God to cure diabetes before asking for a raise, we might actually affect God's priorities.

Do we really think that if no one asked for anything trivial, and everyone got focused on world peace, God would finally see that we had reached some quota and say, "Right, now that four billion and one people have asked for it, I will make it happen.  But, don't anyone ask for a sailboat right now, or I'll get distracted."  Sorry, but I just don't think our prayer requests have that kind of power.

So, why do we bother to pray?

Prayer is about connecting with God, about having a relationship with our divine creator.  I believe God desires that with us, and that God actually cares about our trivial wants, our big dreams, and our petty grievances.  This may strike you as humbling news, but I believe we can come to God with anything and God will work with it.  Thus, prayer is not just about my asking for something.  The benefits from prayer depend upon more than what I do and say.

For example, when I have a selfish desire, prayer inevitably helps in that it exposes it for what it is. By honestly praying for what I really want, I am sometimes shamed into realizing I should not want that thing after all.

One time I actually prayed something like this:  "Lord, please don't let him get that job because if that pompous moron has any more success in life, it will drive me so crazy with jealousy I won't be able to sleep .  .  .  ."  After those words crossed my mind, I couldn't help but notice that these words were not from the person I wanted to be.

When we just think such things (not in prayer), one's mind allows the toxicity to bubble along, unchecked.  But when we lay a desire like that out in front of God, it gets exposed for what it is. And once exposed in prayer, God can work on it with you, transforming your initial prayer into a prayer asking that the envy you feel will lose its sin-soaked hold on your heart.  That is a kind of prayer-power which you might not have thought of.

Honest prayer is full of surprises for us.  When I begin a prayer, I think I am praying for one thing, but by the end of the prayer, I have amazed myself at what I have come up with.  I didn't know I was so worried about a family member, until her face dominates my mind during prayer time and shuts out the very thing I thought I had wanted to pray for.  That prompts me to make a phone call after my prayer concludes, which in turn leads to more good adventures.

Sometimes, when I am praying for something I know is foolish, I come to the realization that there is a deeper need beneath it.  Praying for a lengthy winter vacation in Florida might really be a prayer to spend more time with family, to be somewhere away from the computer and the cell phone.  Before the "Amen" in this prayer, God has revealed all kinds of ways I might connect with the people I love, and none of them required an airline ticket.  In the end, I may still want that Florida vacation, but in prayer, God has taken my desire and led me someplace new.

Sometimes we are tempted to pray to God with great specificity, so it sounds like we are lecturing a sloppy subordinate at work about when and where to show up for a key event.  Or, that we are briefing a family member for a hospital visit with details about the hospital room number, and the exact diagnosis.  However, I think what God really desires from us is an honest emotion, straight from the heart.  We should trust that God can and will take care of the details.

So, the power in prayer is not just in being able to present God with a "laundry list" of our perceived needs.  The power in prayer comes from regularly talking frankly with God.  It comes from developing an on-going relationship through these conversations, which invites God to work in us with whatever we take to Him.
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These thoughts are brought to you by CPC's Adult Spiritual Development Team, hoping to encourage you to pursue some spiritual growth this summer at CPC.
________________________________________________________


WEEKLY  COMMENTARY invites YOUR comments . . .

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Wednesday, July 6, 2016

WEEKLY COMMENTARY: Calling All C.E.O.'s !



I was on one of my rare shopping trips to the Short Hills Mall, when I came upon my dear friends, Harry and Judi.  I see them socially from time to time, and they are members of my church.  Yes, they are members officially, but they attend church worship only on Christmas and Easter, so I call them "C.E.O.'s" ---- Christmas and Easter Only.

I have tried a few times to get them more engaged with the diverse activities at our church, but they politely decline, or tell me they already have too full a schedule.

How do we express with honesty and clarity what we hope others will receive if they really join our community of faith?  Will Harry and Judi just settle for being "shadow" CPC members?  In theological terms, the answer might be to say that we offer them "a relationship with God through Jesus Christ."  For most people this might not appeal because it is too abstract an offer.  And wouldn't that answer apply to joining any community of faith?  What do people need and want from our church?

Methodist Bishop Robert Schnase told us in his writings, that people need to know the peace that runs deeper than an absence of conflict, the hope that sustains them even through the most painful periods of grief, the sense of belonging that blesses them and stretches them and lifts them out of their own self-absorption.

Furthermore, says Bishop Schnase, people need to learn how to offer and accept forgiveness, and how to serve and be served.  As a "school for love," the church becomes a group of people who learn from one another how to love.  People need to know that life is not just the striving to have something to live on, but something to live for ---- that life comes not from taking for oneself, but by giving of oneself.  People need a sustaining sense of purpose.

What is it about Central Church that shows it is special, as an instrument of God?  Why has God put this congregation in this place, at this particular time?  It would be easier to answer that question if CPC would just stand still.  But our Central Church does not do that.  New members join, former members die or move away.  New program ideas catch fire, new friendships are made in the congregation.  CPC tries to look"calm," but it is really quite dynamic ---- so, where is God leading us?

Remembering that all CPC members are part of the Body of Christ, we are subject to many sincere opinions of where God is leading us as a church.  To a large extent, perhaps the question is not "where" is Central Church headed?  Perhaps the question really is where are each one of us headed individually?  By working and learning together can we not eventually find a much clearer answer to that question, than just as a solo act like Harry and Judi?

But, how does this "school for love" really operate?  Sometimes the greatest strength of church worship and Bible classes and choirs, is also their greatest weakness.  Church members may love each other so much that their lives become very intertwined, and their interests interwoven, so that church groups become impenetrable to new people.  The closeness can close out new people who feel like outsiders looking in, and often those on the inside don't even notice.  The church members feel content ---- their own needs are being met!   What they forget is their obligation to help newcomers achieve in personal growth, as members of the Body of Christ.  Is this what is blocking the progress of my friends Harry and Judi?

Today, people are searching for churches that make them feel welcome and loved. needed and accepted.  The work doesn't stop there.  When congregations invite someone to a feast, they can't spend all their time focused on getting the invitations right.  They have to consider what will be served.  What are they inviting them here for?

Why has God placed our Central Presbyterian Church at this time in this setting?
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These thoughts are brought to you by CPC's Adult Spiritual Development Team, hoping to encourage some personal spiritual growth for you this summer at CPC.
________________________________________________________________________________

WEEKLY  COMMENTARY invites YOUR comments . . .

          Based on this week's story, let's talk!

          What's your take on this week's subject?

          To input your thoughts, scroll down to "No comments"
               and click, or if others have commented already, scroll
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