Tuesday, May 30, 2017

WEEKLY COMMENTARY: "Do What You Love"



May is the month for commencements and graduations.  College and university graduates then need to ponder life after graduation.  My nephew Tom and I met up the other day after he had returned home from his university graduation.  We were having lunch together, so we had time to talk.

Tom said he had a few ideas about "what's next," but he wanted my advice; and as usual, I am always prepared to give advice (perhaps too freely).  So I answered Tom with a question: "What are you most passionate about?"  Then I reminded Tom how it is important to distinguish between what we think we are supposed to love and what we really love.

On my drive home, I began to realize how simplistic my answer to Tom had been ---- "Do what you love."  It degrades work that is not done from love.  It ignores the idea that work itself possesses an inherent value; and most importantly, it severs the traditional connection between work, talent  and duty.

My father didn't do what he loved.  He labored at a job he detested so that he could send his kids to college.  Was he just unenlightened and mistaken to put the well-being of others above his own personal interests?  It might be argued that his idea of self-fulfillment was taking care of his family. But again, like so many other less fortunate ones, he hated his work but gritted his teeth and did it well.

It could be argued that my father turned necessity into a virtue.  Or, that taking the best care he could of his family is really a form of self-service.  But getting outside of yourself enough to put your own passions aside for the benefit of a larger circle, be it family or society, does not come naturally to anyone.  Therefore, not everyone will take this path.

Then I remembered that many faithful Christians believe that their talents are gifts from God, which they are duty-bound to use in service to others.   In a philosophy course I took in college, this question had been discussed at length:  "Suppose a man finds in himself a talent which might make him a useful man to others.  But, he finds himself in comfortable circumstances and prefers to indulge in pleasure rather than take the trouble to use and build on his God-given talents.  What should he be doing?"

Our professor had argued that one should not decide to let his talents "rust" for the sake of pleasure.  Our professor instead believed that a "rational" being would want his God-given talents to be fully developed, since they also benefit him, and have been given to him for all sorts of beneficial purposes.  It would be irrational, the professor believed, to live simply by the rule "do what you love."

This is not to claim that we ought to avoid work that we love just because we love doing it.  For some people, a happy harmony exists or develops in which they find pleasure in using their talents in a responsible, other-people-oriented way.  But the belief that my likes and desires, or my sense of personal meaning should alone decide what I will do, is part and parcel of today's "gospel of self-fulfillment."

Meanwhile, some folks will simply narrow their focus to "What am I best at doing, even though I don't enjoy doing it?"  Or, perhaps their focus is "What job would most improve my family's prospects?"  Maybe being licensed as a welder, or electrician?  Maybe the military?  Passion and sought-meaning may nevertheless enter into the mix of thoughts and emotions, with the expectation that they could sharpen one's focus and might make one more successful in the secular sense ---- obtaining both fame and fortune.

Look at three universally recognized paragons of humanity ---- Nelson Mandela, Dietrich Bonhoeffer and Martin Luther King.  They did not organize their lives around self-fulfillment and bucket-list desires.  They, no doubt found a sense of meaning in their heroic acts of self-sacrifice.  But, they did not do what they were doing just in order to achieve a related sense of meaning.  They did ---- like my father ---- what they felt they had to do.

Dr. King taught that every life is marked by dimensions of length, breadth and height.  Length refers to self-love, breadth to the community and care for others, and height to the transcendent, to something larger than oneself.  Most would agree with Dr. King's prescription that self-fulfillment requires being able to relate yourself to something higher than self.  Traditionally, that something "higher" was code for God, but whatever each of us believes the transcendent to be, it demands obedience and the willingness to submerge and re-mold our self-oriented desires.  I wished I had thought to pass this wisdom along to my nephew Tom!

Perhaps Tom relishes.running marathons.  Perhaps he even thinks of his exercise regimen as a form of self-improvement.  But, if his "something higher" is, say, justice and equality, those ideas might behoove him to delegate some of the many hours spent pounding the track, on tutoring kids at the youth center.

As I turned into my driveway at home, it seemed clear to me now that our desires should not be the ultimate arbiters of vocation.  Sometimes we should do what we dislike, not merely what we love doing.  We should do what most needs doing, and do it as best we can.
________________________________________________________________________________

These thoughts are brought to you by CPC's Adult Spiritual Development Team, hoping to encourage you to pursue some personal spiritual growth this summer at CPC.
________________________________________________________________________________

Thursday, May 18, 2017

WEEKLY COMMENTARY: Will Someone Please Teach Us How To Pray?



I have a few questions about personal prayer:  Is God listening?  Why should God care about me? If God already knows everything, what's the value in my prayer?  Why do answers to prayers seem so inconsistent, even capricious?  Does a person with many friends praying for him stand a better chance of physical healing than one who also has cancer but with only a few people praying for him?  Why does God sometimes seem so close and sometimes so far away?  Does personal prayer change God, or change me?

Since no one has seen God, people who pray inevitably draw on their own imagination and experiences.  However, it would seem that their internal representation of God changes throughout one's life cycle in response to other significant people and events.  For example, finding a loving spouse, or holding a newborn baby, may alter an earlier, more distant representation of God.

Most people pray at moments of crisis ---- when a child is ill, or when death approaches.  But those who pray only at such moments usually experience great difficulty figuring out what they are supposed to say, or whom they are addressing.  Sometimes dying men and women try to bargain with God.  They say, "I'll live my life in a righteous way God, if you will have mercy on me."  They struggle with their preconceived notions of God.  Sometimes they are afraid to lay themselves out to God.  While prayer is no insurance policy against adversity, some of us do pray for forgiveness, for strength, for contact with the Father, for assurance that we are not alone.

Talking about God, which is what theologians do, is not the same as learning to talk to God. There are many ways of talking to God.  Prayers learned in childhood or read from a book, are often used to break the conversational "ice" with God.  However, perhaps here is the best advice:  that the most important aspect of personal prayer is to "shut up and listen."

It seems to me that what matters most is not the frequency of personal prayer, but whether those who pray experience inner peace, a feeling of being led by God, or finding other form of "divine intimacy."  I also wonder if those who do, are now more forgiving of others, and satisfied with their own lives?

Many Americans are raised without any habits of personal prayer, and cannot conceive of a God who would listen if they did address Him in prayer.  Not really understanding personal prayer, perhaps they will intellectualize the idea of prayer to such an extent that they "bleach-out" any emotional experience.

Rabbi  Harold Kushner, the author of the best-selling "When Bad Things Happen to Good People," says he is tired of prayers that sound like a list of grievances.  "We've confused God with Santa Claus," Kushner charges.  Every time you have to do something hard and you are not sure you are up to it, that's cause for prayer."  Nevertheless, petitioning God for favors may be one of the oldest ---- and most human ---- forms of prayer.

In the Gospel of John. Jesus himself is said to promise his disciples that "Whatsoever you ask of the Father in my name will be given to you."  Most  Americans who pray believe that at least some of their prayers have been answered, though not always in the ways in which petitioners have sought.

Clearly, there is a difference between turning occasionally to God for help and expecting Him to meet our every want.  Jesus' own prayer to the Father was "thy will be done," meaning that God wants us to have whatever promotes our participation in His life ---- our union both now and in eternity.  Yet, it is precisely this distinction that is lost when television evangelists regularly claim miraculous healing through the power of on-air prayer.  Indeed, there is every reason to believe that the TV listeners' prayers, checks enclosed, are posted to the wrong address.

So, what's the bottom line for those who want to draw closer to God through personal prayer? Beware!  The religious purpose of prayer ---- communing with God ---- can be lost when people use it only for therapeutic side effects.  For example, if my conversation with God were merely a Santa Claus list of wants.  The challenge seems to be moving from trying to control God, to letting God direct us.

______________________________________________________________________________

These thoughts are brought to you by CPC's Adult Spiritual Development Team, hoping to encourage you to pursue some personal spiritual growth this spring at CPC.
______________________________________________________________________________

Thursday, May 11, 2017

WEEKLY COMMENTARY: God and Earthly Suffering



A few years ago, my wife and I had neighbors who had two lovely daughters.  We belonged to the same local swim club, and we became friendly with them socially.  One day we learned that the neighbor wife was pregnant.

The baby was delivered uneventfully, but was immediately seen to be very handicapped.  While this handicap was not life-threatening clearly this baby's future life would be very limited.  People who knew the baby's talented older sisters were stunned and worried for this family.

When  my wife and I called on them to express our sympathy and support, their minister happened to be there.  The dad was tearful and angry ---- "Why us, to have a handicapped child," he demanded, "considering our lifetime of religious and highly moral behavior.  This is so unfair!"

He continued, "Many of us were taught an image of God as an all-wise, all-powerful parent figure who would treat us as our earthly parents did, or even better.  If we were obedient and deserving, He would reward us. He would discipline us, reluctantly but firmly if we got out of line. He would protect us from being hurt or from hurting ourselves, and would see to it that we got what we deserved in life.  But that does not explain the unfair distribution of suffering we see in the world.

Then the minister spoke up:

"There's a problem in giving sympathy to others by arguing there must be a purpose for such heart-break.  When we are just meaning to help the sufferer or to explain the suffering, the "purpose" line of approach is meant primarily to defend God.  It is to use  words and ideas to transform bad into good and pain into privilege.  We are thinking that God is a loving parent who controls what happens to us, and on the basis of that belief adjust and interpret the facts to fit our assumptions."

"Don't you think there needs to be some clear connection between the fault in us and the punishment by God.  A parent who disciplines a child for doing something wrong, but never tells him what he is being punished for, is hardly a model of responsible parenthood."

"Many of our responses to tragedy have at least one thing in common.  They all assume that God is the cause of our suffering, and they try to understand why God would want us to suffer.  Is it for our own good to get us back on the 'path', or is it a punishment we deserve, or could it be that God does not care what happens to us?  Some answers lead us to blame ourselves in order to spare God's reputation.  Others ask us to deny reality or to repress our true feelings.  We are left either hating ourselves for deserving such a fate, or hating God for sending it to us when we did not deserve it."

"There may be another approach.  Maybe God does not cause our suffering.  Maybe it happens for some reason other than the will of God.  Could it be that God does not cause the bad things that happen to us?  Could it be that He does not decide which families shall give birth to a handicapped child, but that he stands ready to help us cope with our tragedies if we could only get beyond the feelings of guilt and anger that separate us from Him?  Could it be that 'How could God do this to me?' is really the wrong question for us to ask."

Belief in a world to come where the innocent are compensated for their suffering can help people endure the unfairness of life in this world, without losing faith.  But it can also be an excuse for not being troubled or outraged by injustice around us, and not using our God-given intelligence to try to do something about it.  In the face of tragedy, how hard is it for us to ask God for help in our coping with the tragedy?
_______________________________________________________________________________

These thoughts are brought to you by CPC's Adult Spiritual Development Team, hoping to encourage your personal spiritual growth this spring at CPC.
_______________________________________________________________________________

Tuesday, May 2, 2017

WEEKLY COMMENTARY: Do The Needy Deserve Our Help?



I have a friend with a large house on the Jersey Shore, and a 45-foot boat on which he invites friends to go fishing.  He mentioned the other day how his cleaning lady had asked him for some help to pay the medical bills of a sick mother.  The mother has no medical insurance, and she had already been in the hospital for three weeks.  My friend said he was glad to help.  "My cleaning lady has so little and I have so much," he said.  He gave her $200.

My friend said he realized that his gift would cover only a small portion of the hospital bills, and now he felt guilty that he had not given more.  But, he said, at first he was not inclined to give her anything, and then guilt induced him to give the $200.

There was no spontaneous generosity here.  He seems not to have been moved by compassion.

What kind of love do you think God requires?  Showing mercy is commanded both by Jesus and often in Scripture.  But shouldn't it be initiated by a willing heart, and not just be in response to a command?  What is the right way to respond to a needy person?  Perhaps we should remember the mercy of God.  Through his mercy we receive his grace (unmerited divine assistance given freely to humans in forgiveness of their sins). ---- a huge benefit we receive but have not earned?

One way to look at the question is to ask, "How selfish are we if we eat steak and drive two cars, while  many in the rest of the world are starving?"  This may create great emotional conflicts in the hearts of some Christians.  We may feel guilty!  However, all sorts of  defense mechanisms are quickly engaged.  "Can I help it if I was born in this rich country?"  "Will it help anyone if I stop driving two cars?"  "Don't I have the right to enjoy the fruits of my labor?"  Soon, with an anxious weariness, we turn away from books or speakers who simply make us feel. guilty toward the needy.

True mercy is spontaneous ---- it is an expansive love which comes from an awareness of the grace of God.  The deeper the awareness of the free gift of grace from God, the more generous we might ( hopefully) become.  One measure of a Christian may be whether he or she loves to give. How regularly are we aware of God's gift of grace to us personally?  Is it something we want to repay by passing something like this along freely to others?  

To put it another way, think of showing mercy to the needy as our "sacrifice of praise" for God's gift of grace to us.  It truly is a "sacrifice" on our part, because whatever we give to the needy (be it money or our supportive time, for example) we have given it away freely, and we do not have it any more.  It is a "sacrifice."  The risen Lord Jesus is not here for us to anoint his feet, so instead we have the opportunity to help the needy as a "sacrifice", to show our love and honor for Christ, and for God's gift of grace.

Why is generosity a mark of being a Christian?  Imagine a person who is deathly ill.  The doctor announces to him there is a medicine which can certainly cure him.  Without it, he has no hope. "However," says the doctor, "it is extremely expensive.  You will have to sell your cars, even your home, to buy it.  You may not wish to spend so much."  The man turns to the doctor and says, "What do my cars mean to me now?  What good will my house be?  I must have that medicine; it is precious to me.  These other things which were so important to me before, now look pale by comparison to the medicine.  They are expendable now.  Give me the medicine!"

Awareness of the grace of God (like a miracle medicine) is equally that precious to us.  Our possessions, our money, our time, all become eternally and utterly expendable.  They used to be crucial to our happiness.  They will no longer be so, as awareness increases that we have received the gift of God's grace.

A sensitive social conscience and a life poured out in deeds of mercy to the needy, are the inevitable signs of a person who really understands the nature of God's grace freely given to us. Guilt should not be the only motivation for helping the needy.
_______________________________________________________________________________

These thoughts are brought to you by CPC's Adult Spiritual Development Team, hoping to encourage you to pursue some personal spiritual growth this year at CPC.
_______________________________________________________________________________