It is interesting how the process of faith formation evolves
throughout a person's life. Gallop Poll data shows that for decades adults have
tended to be more serious about religion soon after they have children.
Before the first child is born, the parents may practice some degree of faith
in and commitment to Jesus ---- perhaps they attended worship
occasionally. But their Bible knowledge, regular weekday devotions and
awareness of Christian principles may have been sketchy.
When adults become parents, a change often occurs. Now
the focus is not particularly on their own faith, or lack of it ---- it
becomes their desire to be "good" parents who prepare their child
well in his or her search for meaning in life.
I have friends with a 4-year-old boy who asked his parents
if they would please say grace before the family meals. The parents
normally did not do this. Apparently, however, their son had learned in day
care to bow his head and give thanks, and he wanted Mom and Dad to do the
same. They now join him in saying grace because they want to
"support his search for meaning," they told me. "We want
him to make his own decision one day about what he wants to believe in.
We want him to ask questions. So, if he wants to pray, then we are going
to pray along with him."
Today, the home may be the primary setting where
children learn meaning as to their relationship with God and their place in the
universe. Public schools are forbidden by law to get into such subjects,
in the spirit of separation of church and state, as practiced in the United
States.
In many families, it is in the home and not at church where
children mainly acquire their religious awareness. In spite of
imaginative Sunday School teaching, there are schedule conflicts with sports
and other activities which may supplant regular attendance at church Sunday
School. At a time when shrinking percentages of Americans claim religious
affiliation, sociological research and religious organizations suggest that
responsibility for forming a child's faith identity is shifting from
institutions to the parents.
Perhaps this is also true at Central Church. In
January, 2015, 43 youth were signed up for weekly Middle School Sunday
School. As of March 15, 25 had never attended a class, and 4 had attended
only one class since the first Sunday in January. Only 8 had attended 4
or more of the 8 classes taught so far in 2015.
No doubt there were good reasons for the many
absences. But, for the absentees, either they were being educated at home
about the Bible and Jesus, or perhaps they were not being spiritually educated
at all. Of course, in those homes that do not place a high value on such spiritual
education, their youth will have little to go on except what has come from
their parents. Would these kids make up any teaching gaps later in life?
For families that embrace the challenge, parenting now
involves serving as a child's primary guide to spirituality, which can range
from bedtime prayers to volunteering together as a family on a mission project.
Meanwhile, church congregations increasingly need to build
up resources that coach families in the how-to's of spiritual mentoring at
home. This needs to be done in a way that doesn't expect Mom and Dad to
be Bible experts. Many churches already provide resources and
encouragement to parents, having recognized the current shift in the learning
process.
CPC provides Bible story materials, maps of the Holy Land
and other Bible-related materials for use at home, supporting efforts to bring
Bible knowledge to kids. Just ask!
In addition to aiding parents in these ways, the pastors and
staff of the church are a friendly resource for parents. But, the most
important elements in the process of a child's spiritual development probably
are the parents themselves, and the participatory example they present to the
kids. This is really important, because increasingly it appears that faith
is acquired at home or not at all!
There is one other important dimension here. The
emergence of community service requirements or church-sponsored mission
participation as a dominant value, to some degree, may devalue faith
itself. The development of a caring heart may be accompanied by the
practice of a "religionless" Christianity. Absent are the
symbols and God-related conversations that church-based worship would have
provided. Aware of this growing void, many parents increasingly
recognize the value of leading explicitly religious activities at home ----
prayer, reading and discussion of Scripture, re-calling Bible stories for their
relevance to something that has just been witnessed by the family. In the
process, they are recovering some forgotten ways of honoring God, once known to
their grandparents and great grandparents.
Parents need to act on their own faith commitments in concrete
ways, thus showing and telling their kids how a faith tradition is a way of
life.
Those who promote home-based faith practices offer
encouragement by noting that parents do not need to have all the answers.
Parents just need to set the conspicuous example of seeking insight,
alongside their children. Perhaps parents and their kids are no longer
wishing to hear their faith lessons only from the pulpit.
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These thoughts are brought to you by CPC's Adult
Spiritual Development Team, hoping to encourage you to pursue some personal
spiritual growth this spring at CPC.
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