May is the month for commencements and graduations.
College and university graduates then need to ponder life after
graduation. My nephew Tom and I met up the other day after he had
returned home from his university graduation. We were having
lunch together, so we had time to talk.
Tom said he had a few ideas about "what's next,"
but he wanted my advice; and as usual, I am always prepared to give advice
(perhaps too freely). So I answered Tom with a question: "What are
you most passionate about?" Then I reminded Tom how it is important
to distinguish between what we think we are supposed to love and what we really
love.
On my drive home, I began to realize how simplistic my
answer to Tom had been ---- "Do what you love." It degrades
work that is not done from love. It ignores the idea that work
itself possesses an inherent value; and most importantly, it severs the
traditional connection between work, talent and duty.
My father didn't do what he loved. He labored at a job
he detested so that he could send his kids to college. Was he just
unenlightened and mistaken to put the well-being of others above his own
personal interests? It might be argued that his idea of self-fulfillment
was taking care of his family. But again, like so many other less fortunate
ones, he hated his work but gritted his teeth and did it well.
It could be argued that my father turned necessity into a
virtue. Or, that taking the best care he could of his family is really a
form of self-service. But getting outside of yourself enough to put your
own passions aside for the benefit of a larger circle, be it family or society,
does not come naturally to anyone. Therefore, not everyone will take this
path.
Then I remembered that many faithful Christians believe that
their talents are gifts from God, which they are duty-bound to use in service
to others. In a philosophy course I took in college, this question had been
discussed at length: "Suppose a man finds in himself a talent which
might make him a useful man to others. But, he finds himself in
comfortable circumstances and prefers to indulge in pleasure rather than take
the trouble to use and build on his God-given talents. What should he
be doing?"
Our professor had argued that one should not decide
to let his talents "rust" for the sake of pleasure. Our
professor instead believed that a "rational" being would want his
God-given talents to be fully developed, since they also benefit him,
and have been given to him for all sorts of beneficial purposes. It would
be irrational, the professor believed, to live simply by the rule "do what
you love."
This is not to claim that we ought to avoid work that we love
just because we love doing it. For some people, a happy harmony exists or
develops in which they find pleasure in using their talents in a responsible,
other-people-oriented way. But the belief that my likes and desires, or
my sense of personal meaning should alone decide what I will do, is part and
parcel of today's "gospel of self-fulfillment."
Meanwhile, some folks will simply narrow their focus to
"What am I best at doing, even though I don't enjoy doing it?"
Or, perhaps their focus is "What job would most improve my family's
prospects?" Maybe being licensed as a welder, or electrician?
Maybe the military? Passion and sought-meaning may nevertheless enter
into the mix of thoughts and emotions, with the expectation that they could
sharpen one's focus and might make one more successful in the secular sense
---- obtaining both fame and fortune.
Look at three universally recognized paragons of humanity
---- Nelson Mandela, Dietrich Bonhoeffer and Martin Luther King. They did
not organize their lives around self-fulfillment and bucket-list desires.
They, no doubt found a sense of meaning in their heroic acts of
self-sacrifice. But, they did not do what they were doing just in order
to achieve a related sense of meaning. They did ---- like my father ----
what they felt they had to do.
Dr. King taught that every life is marked by dimensions of
length, breadth and height. Length refers to self-love, breadth
to the community and care for others, and height to the transcendent, to
something larger than oneself. Most would agree with Dr. King's
prescription that self-fulfillment requires being able to relate yourself to
something higher than self. Traditionally, that something
"higher" was code for God, but whatever each of us believes the
transcendent to be, it demands obedience and the willingness to submerge and
re-mold our self-oriented desires. I wished I had thought to pass this
wisdom along to my nephew Tom!
Perhaps Tom relishes.running marathons. Perhaps he
even thinks of his exercise regimen as a form of self-improvement. But,
if his "something higher" is, say, justice and equality, those ideas
might behoove him to delegate some of the many hours spent pounding the track,
on tutoring kids at the youth center.
As I turned into my driveway at home, it seemed clear to me
now that our desires should not be the ultimate arbiters of vocation.
Sometimes we should do what we dislike, not merely what we love doing. We
should do what most needs doing, and do it as best we can.
________________________________________________________________________________
These thoughts are brought to you by CPC's Adult
Spiritual Development Team, hoping to encourage you to pursue some personal
spiritual growth this summer at CPC.
________________________________________________________________________________
No comments:
Post a Comment