Thursday, September 13, 2018

WEEKLY COMMENTARY: What Makes Self-Control So Hard?



It's ten o'clock in the evening and I am headed for bed.  But, I detour through the kitchen, seeking a bed-time snack.  A jumbo-sized piece of chocolate cake beckons me.  Five minutes later, the cake is gone and I am feeling a little over full.

For some of us, the daily struggle with temptation centers on food ---- the temptation of fats and sweets that are so readily and effortlessly available.  Human nature probably hasn't changed much over the centuries, but the landscape of temptation objects surely has grown.

In the future, for more and more of us, our greatest challenge may be managing our own appetites and addictions in an environment of expanding freedom and affluence.  Technology is a leading culprit.  From refrigeration to credit cards, to automobiles to the internet, technology makes it possible for more and more people to satisfy their self-centered wants from an expanding world of possibilities.

The good news is that the problem of self-control is hardly a new one, and we can learn a lot from those who have wrestled with it before us.  There are some tricks we can use to help us be strong, but we must provide the needed inner strength, and not all of us are equally endowed.

Self-control is the ability to override impulses in favor of longer-term goals.  The heart of the problem is always the same:  The conflict between short-term rewards, which we seem hard-wired to value heavily, and our longer-term goals.  A pan of just-baked chocolate brownies sitting right in front of us, in other words, is simply a lot more compelling than the long-term desire to be slim.  And we understand, perhaps instinctively, that one brownie ---- or one cigarette, or one more drink, or just one hour of procrastination ---- will have no material effect in the long run.  Except, to some extent the first exception leads to another, and we eventually find ourselves some place we never intended to be.

Today's culture promotes independence and non-conformity, and celebrates a world full of options.  Every day, people make innumerable choices ---- from what to order at the corner coffee shop, to which of their 263 cable TV channels to watch on the weekend.  With so many choices, the guiding principle for decision making often becomes "what's in it for me, right now?  In a 24/7 world of endless opportunities, obligations and information, many adults now base their time management decisions on the expectation of immediate, tangible and personal rewards.

Often, however, the need for self-control is not in relationship to simple things like tasty food;  but instead, self-control is needed with opportunities that will just make us feel important.  Choices that benefit only us ---- not other people.  Some folks would describe this as "selfish living".  We can take selfish actions because we were free to make choices that ignore the needs of others and simply serve ourselves.  We may know that this is wrong, but the focus on ourselves is too great to be ignored ---- we lack the self-control to do what we know deep down would be the right action.

If you think about it, you might realize that Jesus often talked about how and why we need to master our self-control.  He had a name for our occasional lapses from self-control into self-centeredness.  He called it "SIN".  Jesus wanted us to always put God at the center of our lives, and not simply put ourselves at the center.  I suggest that if we muster the self-control to do this, it will reward us richly ---- much more than simply avoiding that late-night forbidden snack.

Support from other people will always be essential for making our self-control effective.  The support of our long-term goals by others is something that we can find in church worship.  If we do not find it on Sunday mornings, or at the WAVE Service, perhaps we need to sharpen the long-term goals we have for ourselves ---- sharpen what we are seeking, by becoming more fully involved and integrated into the church community, and less involved in ourselves.
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These thoughts are brought to you by the CPC Adult Spiritual Development Team, hoping to encourage your spiritual growth this Fall.
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