I met a new
neighbor the other day. He was walking his dog, and the friendly dog
initiated a conversation between me and my new neighbor. He, his wife and
their two kids were from Ohio, and he has a new job in New York City.
We seemed to
have a few things in common, and then he asked me if there might be a
Presbyterian Church in Summit. I did not need to think twice ---- I told
him I am a member of the Central Presbyterian Church. It turned out that
CPC is about a 10-minute walk from his house. I told him we have an
active Sunday School and we would welcome him, his wife and their two kids.
Unexpectedly,
he asked me to say more about the Sunday School. His children are ages 10
and 13, so he was looking for more than just the memorization of some Bible
stories. I knew that was a good question, but I didn't really know the
answer. I said I would get more information and report back.
Several days
later, I had a chance to visit with Rev. Deborah Huggins, Associate Pastor at
Central Church, who directs the church programs for our youth. Pastor
Deborah confirmed that the Parables of Jesus and Bible stories are used in
teaching our younger grades, but that our church Sunday School has an equally
important second dimension, especially for older children.
"We are
trying to develop a keen sense of empathy in each child,"
she said. "While the word 'empathy' is not to be found in the Bible, the
thought was expressed repeatedly by Jesus and his Disciples ---- it is all
about our concern for others. Our Sunday School programs nurture kids in
the importance of caring about other people. We believe that healthy
empathy is when we give of ourselves to others, and do it from the
heart."
I realized I
did not know much about empathy, so I did a little research. I learned
that people who seem deficient in empathy, are apt to be aggressive,
self-focused, narcissistic, always thinking about what's in it for them and
never responding to the needs of others. The research I read told me that
we are each born with a given number of neurons that participate in an
empathetic response. But, whether this potential to care appropriately
for others is realized or is undermined, largely will be molded by early-life
experiences, starting at birth and continuing throughout childhood.
I asked
Pastor Deborah, how a healthy degree of empathy can be instilled in a
child? "Empathy is a mutable trait," she said, "so it can
be taught. We're all born with a certain potential, but it can be
dramatically upgraded or downgraded depending upon environmental factors,
especially by the examples set by a child's caregivers." Pastor
Deborah said she has vivid memories of her parents taking turkeys before
Thanksgiving to the homes of people who had almost nothing. Or, a parent
might say to the family, "Mrs. Jones just came home from the
hospital. Let's take her some soup." "Our kids tend to
focus on what they don't have," she said,
"witnessing such acts of care exposes children to people who have so
much less, and it gives the gift of being
a giver."
Pastor
Deborah had another important thought. Our Sunday School teachers know
that classroom behavior like sharing, helping and comforting others, builds
empathetic behavior in children. It guides them into the inner world of
feelings ---- their own and those of others.
I did some
further research on the Sunday School projects of our church, aimed at teaching
empathy. Here are a few examples of our empathy-building youth projects.
Two weeks before Christmas, very young Sunday School students wrapped simple
gifts and colored-in greeting cards for 50 residents of an old folks home. On
other occasions, some of our teenage youth go on inner-city"Mid-Night
Runs" several times,,having earlier prepared sandwiches and other food
snacks for distribution on particular urban street sidewalks. College-age
students join in an annual one-week Mission Trip to an impoverished or
storm-damaged location to help restore daily life for the residents by
providing home repairs and encouragement. Sometimes, the project is
merely to make sandwiches for a subsequent adult distribution run to an
impoverished urban area, like places in Newark or New York City ---- but the
youths will have joined together to make several hundred sandwiches each
time.
I was glad to
be able to return to my new neighbor and report the organized effort to build
empathy in our Sunday School classes, as reported to me by Pastor
Deborah. Best of all, it reminded me of the many ways our church
reinforces empathy in its adult members, with many programs of
outreach to the homeless and the hungry in the Summit community and beyond.
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These
thoughts are brought to you by CPC's Adult Spiritual Development Team, hoping
to encourage some spiritual growth for you this Spring.
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