Wednesday, June 22, 2016

WEEKLY COMMENTARY: Are You Comfortable With Non-Conforming Strangers?



One summer, my family and I rented a house at the Jersey Shore.  Several nights a week we would eat out, so during the day, on our wanderings through town, we would keep our eyes open for interesting restaurants.  One in particular was recommended to us, but it had a window sign saying "NO tank tops for ladies, NO shorts for men."

This window sign was quite clear ---- you knew where you stood.  Most of society is not that honest.  As Pastor Lillian Daniel observes, "Groups of people have those signs in their heads, but outsiders never see them.  You just perceive that there are rules and an order to things that some people seem to know and others don't."

I remember my first days at a new high school.  I entered the school cafeteria and froze. Where should I sit?  Will I be welcomed?  Will I be ignored?  I was the outsider, with no welcoming place to sit.

Perhaps the desire to eat at a table with others has been hard-wired into human beings.  But there is a social status element to all of this as well.  It is not just that we do not want to eat alone.  We do not want to be seen as eating alone.  From our earliest nursery school memories of snack time to the seating chart at the retirement dinner, we know that these eating arrangements, formal and informal, mean something about whom we are and where we are placed socially.

If Jesus had been a student at my high school, he probably would have been actively discouraged from eating with the tax collectors and sinners.  But Jesus did eat with tax collectors and sinners, breaking rules that were more rigid than those at my high school.

In Jesus' day, whom you eat  with mattered.  Where you sat was not a casual affair.  You were associated with the people you ate with.  If they were good, upstanding people and they invited you to eat at their table, you were, by association, good and upstanding, too.

But, if the people were sinners, known to the community as such, you definitely didn't want to eat with them.  The only people who ate with sinners were the other sinners, the people who had to share a table because no other table would have them.

At first, when I would sit down at any of those cafeteria social enclaves, I was stared at as if I had made a mistake.  But gradually, I got to know different people, made different friends, and realized that the cliques were not as homogeneous as I had led myself to believe.  There were smart students at the "pretty table", "jocks" at the orchestra table, and interesting stories everywhere.

"NO tank tops for ladies, NO shorts for men."  Most of the world just isn't that direct.  But the unspoken and unwritten rules are often the ones that cause the most pain, and block us from trying to develop relationships with strangers.

Jesus turned the tables on that by sitting at the wrong table.  What makes it the wrong table? The wrong people were sitting at it.  Who are the wrong people?  The ones who are not like us.

At Central Church, we house the homeless during four different weeks of the year.  Many Central Church volunteers come together to make this work, even spending nights with them. Briefly, we have a "community."

Meanwhile, there are grumblings about a homeless man who has been encamped outside for many months at the edge of the church parking lot, with all his possessions gathered in plastic bags.  Sometimes he has homeless visitors.  By camping so permanently where he does, one could say this long-term camper "does not respect the assigned seating arrangements" in our affluent town of Summit.

It is as if, in affluent Summit, there is an unspoken sign that says that if you pay a considerable amount of money for your home, you should not have to walk next to a homeless person ---- you should not even see one.  And this attitude is not unique to Summit, but pervades much of our privileged culture.

To which Jesus would have had a very clear answer, that would not satisfy some people. Jesus' answer might be this:  "In the world, there may be assigned seating, but in the Kingdom of Heaven there is not."  If we believe this, we ought to act on it, and live it out here on earth. For Jesus and his disciples, there were no assigned seats at his table.   All were welcome, particularly in their brokenness.  Indeed, the church was born on the damaged consciences and rotten reputations of tax collectors, sinners and people in need.

We will always be told that the social barriers are there for a reason ---- that the rules are there to keep order, and that if we will keep to our own lunch tables, we will be better off.  But the myth of that story is to think we can keep all the sinners at their own table.  Of course, this is wrong and profoundly self-deceiving.  Because, there are sinners at every table.  There is definitely a sinner at every table where I sit down, because it is me.

Perhaps we should try reading this story as if we were the tax collector.  We are looking over the tables, wondering where to sit down, and who will have us.  We want a way out of our past mistakes and sins.  We want to live better.

Is this too big a job for us to tackle by ourselves?  IF we sit down at a table with an unfamiliar group, and try trusting that the Holy Spirit will work through all of us, we are going to grow to be more like Jesus.  Isn't this how a true community begins?  Isn't our church a fertile garden for planting and nourishing "community"?  Everyone is welcome because church is actually a school for sinners, not a club for saints.
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These thoughts are brought to you by the CPC Adult Spiritual Development Team, seeking some spiritual growth for you this summer.
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The June 7, 2016 COMMENTARY discussed FORGIVENESS - - -
         We have received the following reader comment:

           "I would inform the person he was wrong, and ask that he or she come to me to learn               the right message.  Also, the offender can inform all of the error and say he or she is very sorry for being wrong."

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